Simply Tri-ing

Lots of love for the TRIkids!!

2010-08-25T19:26:00.004-05:00

One of my absolute favorite parts of the week are the nights I coach the TRIkids. And, I'm not just saying that. I truly **LOVE** those kids!! And, I have to admit, I am darn proud that I have had a hand in forming the athletes they are growing up to be. Clearly, genetics plays a big part in what your athletic journey will look like but what about the kind of sportsman you are? That is all on YOU. Being an athlete comes naturally to some -- but who are you when you share the field? There are some teams that focus on being "bad ass". Push hard, go hard, no prisoners. But my favorite athletes are those who are skilled but centered. Just mad skills on top of a foundation of kindness and humility.

Now make no mistake: I push the TRIkids hard. Somedays REALLY hard. Somedays I think they may hate me. ;) But regardless of how difficult a training session or race is, they know that the ultimate goal is not just to do their best but to be the best sportsman.

And at the races this past weekend they all made me so incredibly proud! For example, one of our TRIkids fell down on the bike course. Other racers just went by but when another TRIkid came upon her, he actually got off his bike and helped her up. Now that's a true teammate, a true friend and a true sportsman. And, then at the Pink Power triathlon two of our TRIkids participated in the run as part of a relay. Now this course has a killer hill as it leads you back toward the finish line. And as our girls huffed, puffed and pushed up that dreaded hill, they still managed to eek out a quick "good job" to EVERY SINGLE athlete they passed or who passed them. And, after one of our girls finished, she ran back down the hill to wait for her teammate and run with her up that darn hill again!! It was absolutely awesome!

Oh, and I guess I should mention that some TRIkids took podium spots as well -- which is fantastic -- but the real inspiration was watching WHO they were and not just what they did.

So are my props to TRIkids. The crazy, silly, hardworking crew of awesome athletes I am blessed to coach. Go TRIkids!!!

Holy Smokes, I'm Re-Inspired!!

2010-08-17T22:08:00.005-05:00

And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
. . .
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

And I'm feeling good

I have an admission to make: I have a TON of 1/2 done blog posts sitting in my draft folder. The fact is, for the past year I have been "triathlon depressed". First -- even after surgery -- my hip injury apparently has no liklihood of getting better (at least according to my stupid doctor). That sucks. And, second -- an environment that used to be my peace -- my escape -- my complete joy -- turned into Total Drama Island and I experienced first-hand how the "Ironman monster" can turn some otherwise normal people into elitist braggarts. (Note I said "some" ... defintely not all. But the two or three affected ones were enough to suck the fun out of life, for sure.) In any event, this newfound knowledge made me incredibly sad -- for many reasons and on many different levels. I actually figured that perhaps the days of silly yet "serious training for not-so-serious people" was long gone.

But something happened recently that has turned it all around:

I helped coach and completed an Oly tri with some super-cool chicks. It. Was. Amazing. Not the race, per se. I mean, the race was fine -- gorgeous scenery, some good, fun hills, and perfect weather -- but the inspiration I got from the group of women I raced with was absolutely unbelieveable. These are women who are stellar athletes -- some just getting into triathlon and some who have been involved for a while -- and each one of them taught me something during our team weekend in Luray. The most important thing they taught me was that life -- like triathlon -- can be tough as hell sometimes -- but the foundation -- the real core of life -- is in laughing, sharing, supporting, encouraging, trying, failing, falling, getting up and trying again -- and, of course, doing it all with humility, perspective and grace. It was absolutely refreshing!!

So, I'm back . . . different. More learned. Perhaps a bit tainted. But excited, nevertheless, to see what adventures lie ahead.

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." Andre Gide

Bring it on. I am ready.

Pop the floaties . . .

2009-04-07T10:51:00.004-05:00

Last night was my first swim with Coach Karen and, I have to admit, I was a little nervous. I had heard she was an "ass kicker" and that the TRIgirls were going to get a rude awakening from her vicious swim training. But, more than getting a tough workout, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the length of the whole workout since my New Year's resolution to actually get in the water went out the window about 2 months ago.

Let me tell you: I have no excuse for not swimming. I have EVERYTHING I need to make swim training easier for me: a pool at a gym less than 3 miles from my house, an awesome SwiMP3, a cool little finger gadget that counts my laps, time during the day to get it done. I'm just missing one teeny-tiny little thing: the will to actually do it. So, given my lack of swimming dedication, I had no choice but to simply hold fast to the hope that splashing around in the pool a couple times in January & early February was enough to keep me from drowning. To add to the pressure, Kelsey came with me to training to watch me -- or, I suspect, laugh at me!!

But, you know what? It wasn't bad at all. Actually, it was fine. Dare I say, fun? I forgot that I'm really bouyant. I mean, I just don't sink. I think you could tie weights to my legs and I would still float. Sure, it doesn't make me feel great about the percentage of body fat I must have to make me just sit on the water like a flippin' buoy but at least it makes it easier for me to swim! And, Kelsey even said she thought I did a good job -- even if I did look "kinda slow".

So, what did I learn from swimming last night? Well, I guess it's that the 10 pounds I picked up in the off-season really isn't so detrimental after all. So, now I'm happily off to get in another training session for the swim: which means I'm going to go eat a Nutter Butter. Got to keep that buoyancy up!

Dammit . . .

2009-04-01T22:41:00.003-05:00

Well, the 10 mile run on Sunday felt pretty good. Monday: leg hurts. Hmmm. Maybe it's just that I ran too hard. Tuesday: my run kills the leg. Dammit. But, whatever. I'm SO done with injuries.

One of my favorite quotes has always been:

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "HOLY CRAP what a ride!"
~unknown~

Looks like I'm living the dream, huh? :)

Also, it's 3 months, 24 days til Placid. I may want to think about getting in the pool sometime soon!! I have a feeling I'm going to get a complete and total butt whooping when I go to my first swim next week!!!! I'm totally going to bring my floatie, some flippers and a snorkel.

FINALLY an Answer . . .

2009-03-25T11:21:00.003-05:00

I've been having this phantom leg pain for a few months now. Initially, I thought "Uh-oh. Is it even possible that the same stupid stress fracture is back?!?" So, of course, I did the smart thing: I ignored it and kept training through the discomfort. Yeah, my intelligence is a gift.

Flash forward a few weeks. Pain is now shooting down my leg. Well, that sucks. So, I go to see my super-awesome orthopaedic doctor. He thinks something is wrong in the joint but can't rule out a stress fracture so off I go to get another bone scan. Which comes back negative! Yay, me! But, dammit, doctor now says I should get an arthrogram and MRI to check the joint since he thinks there's cartilage damage in the joint -- more specifically a torn labrum -- that may need to be scoped out surgically. So, again, I do the smart thing: I ignore him and go get a gait analysis to see if maybe it's the way I'm running that's causing me pain. Seriously, I'm a friggin' genius!!

So Jim Miller spends all of his valuable time with me to tell me a couple things: 1 - my gait's not so bad -- actually, it's pretty good; and 2 - based on the pain I'm experiencing he thinks I have a torn labrum and need to go see my ortho right away. Dammit! They're in cahoots I just know it!!!

Flash forward a week and I've had the MRI and arthrogram done and I get a call from the ortho doctor. The diagnosis: damage to the cartilage and torn labrum. Crap. BUT, because my doctor is a rock star, and he knows I'm trying to get through Ironman USA he says we can try cortisone to hold back the pain until after IMUSA. Most likely, no further damage will be done between now and IMUSA so as long as the cortisone works, we should be good to go. I can get up to 3 injections before IMUSA but that's it since apparently too much of this stuff can cause more damage to the joint.

So, I still get to do IMUSA and once it's over, I'll have it scoped out, the pain will be gone and I'll be a new "me". You know I've learned something through this: I think doctors are flippin' AWESOME as long as they say what I want and I still get to do what I want. So, anyway, thank God for an answer!!! At least now I know what I'm dealing with. And, who knows? Maybe this is what's been stopping me from running like a Kenyan all this time! HA!

Of course, I'm not going to get the surgery until November so I can recover during the off season. I mean, if I can get through IM training with torn cartilage, I can surely last through the end of the season, right?

Yes, indeed, that surely seems like the smart thing to do. :)

The Chicken Dance

2009-03-06T13:11:00.002-05:00

So, training is hard. Sometimes it's really, REALLY hard. Both mentally and physically. Yesterday I ran sprints. That was hard. Then I went to cycling and Coach M was unusually zealous about kicking our butts. My legs were burning and I had a difficult time keeping efficient pedal strokes. That was really hard. Then Coach M put on the Chicken Dance music during the longest, hardest part of the session. WTF?!? That song is not even entertaining when I'm drunk at weddings. Well, okay, maybe it's a little entertaining if I'm REALLY drunk. But, at cycling?!? Damn. Now I had to tap into my physical and mental stores! And that right there is the difference between what makes it hard and what makes it really, REALLY hard. It's the Chicken Dance.

And, you know what? The stupid song is STILL stuck in my head. Bet it's stuck in yours now too, huh? You're welcome. :)

Um, I'm Doing Ironman Lake Placid In Less Than Six Months...sh#$!!!

2009-02-18T19:18:00.002-05:00

Really, this time, I'm going to try to get back to blogging on regular basis!!! I swear!!! I will start out slowly and, hopefully, ease my way back into saying anything even remotely interesting or entertaining.

So, last month -- or perhaps the month before that -- we began our journey into Lake Placid training. So far, everything is relatively painless and oddly provides a sense of familiarity that I find comforting. Clearly that is a sign that I'm a lunatic.

Tonight is the first night that I've really thought about Placid and the fact that I will be there in less than 6 months participating in an Ironman that I once thought was WAAAAAAY out of my league (and, truth be told, I still have doubts about my ability there). I had a momentary panic attack and the butterflies took flight in my stomach but then I calmed. Life has been too busy for me to worry about it. I'm just moving along like an unthinking lemming, following the schedule in front of me with no thought to the ultimate consequence: wake up, eat, work, eat, take care of kids, eat, train, eat, sleep, eat, repeat. Did you notice all the "eating" in there? Yeah, that explains the ten extra pounds on my ass. I blame it on post-holiday binging. It will come off once the training picks up. Right? No? Okay, whatever. It'll help me gain speed on the downhills at Placid then.

So, the journey begins yet again. I'm still nervous. Madly excited. Totally overwhelmed. And, a teeny bit proud of taking this plunge. I guess, I'm ready for the challenge. Bring it on, IMUSA!!! Okay, just kidding ... I'm not really stupid enough to taunt the Ironman Gods. Let's not "bring it on" so to speak. How about Placid remains it's calm, rain-free, beautiful self and I just wander on up north with some awesome friends in a few months and we take a little swim in a gorgeous lake, toodle around the mountains on our bikes and take in 26.2 miles of scenery on a wee little walk-about? Deal? Excellent!

Who says kids don't like to go to Ironman Florida on Halloween??

2008-10-31T19:36:00.004-05:00

October 31st is a tricky time for us IMFL lovers. We, of course, want to be at IMFL and either race or cheer on our teammates but, unfortunately, for the past two years, IMFL has seriously disrupted Halloween and trick-or-treating for our little kiddos. So this year, I developed a plan. I talked my Booger into the BEST Halloween costume EVER: an M-Dot. I told her that she'd get tons of attention and people would love it. She was totally into it so Derek and I made her a costume fit for a an Ironman Princess.

Little did I know exactly how much attention she would get!! I'm talking cars honking, people leaning out of their car windows to take a picture, at least 30 people stopping and asking to get their picture taken with her and even more asking simply to take her picture!!!! It was absolutely hilarious!! She was in heaven and kept saying she was a "pop star". At the end of the night she said this was her best Halloween ever. So, what's the lesson here? I suppose it's that Ironman and kiddies DO mix -- given some creativity and an easy-going kid!

So, as far as the race so far? I got in late this afternoon and only managed to touch base with the crew of T-girl sherpas and volunteers. Derek and I are reporting tomorrow at 6:30 a.m. to work as bike handlers and I'm hoping to get lots and lots of pictures!!! I'll try to give some updates and post some pics of our gals (and guys) kicking the crap out of the IMFL course!

Best of luck to Shawn, Kate G, Kate O., Sharon, Patty, Charlotte, Fred and, of course, the super-awesome Som!! More to report tomorrow . . .

So much to look forward to . . .

2008-10-17T14:36:00.004-05:00

First of all, thanks so much for all of your well-wishes for Kelsey! She did an awesome job and I know it meant so much to her that you all were sending her some good mojo! :)

These next few weeks are going to be filled with so much excitement!! Honestly, I can hardly wait!

Okay, so, next weekend I get to go on my triathlon coaching certification weekend and when I return all that will be left is the exam. Gulp! Coach G and Coach B keep telling me that it will be no problem -- but, you know, when multi-Ironman athletes/ultra-marathoners tell you something will be "no problem" you tend to believe that maybe their idea of "no problem" may be a little different than your own! Either way, the butterflies and anxiety remind me of pre-race jitters which I miss so much this year!!!

Then what's next? A little thing called IRONMAN FLORIDA, baby!! I. CAN. NOT. WAIT. to get down to Panama City to be there with all the TRIgirls and cheer them on as they go after that Ironman prize . . . Sharon, Shawn, Kate O, Kate G, Patty, Charlotte . . . They have been training so hard and are going to kick some major IM-ass down there! I'll be working as a bike handler -- which I'm sure will be A LOT more fun than Lake Placid (aka Hurricane Ironman). And, after the Ironman, I cannot even imagine the party after the crew of teammates and others sign up for IMFL '09 (including this one handsome, tall guy named Derek something or other - go Big D!!)

With all the IM mojo going around right now, I pulled up some of my previous posts so I could re-read how I felt at this time last year. For those who are toeing that line in Florida, I'm passing this quote along. It meant so much to me as the time was ticking down and I hope it brings some peace to you, too:

"It is a comforting moment when we suddenly realize that our commitment to race, to participate in something so important to us - our dream - will be actualized. We have made it to the starting line. In this moment, the probability that we will do the event reaches 100 percent. The hundreds of things that can go wrong leading up to an Ironman have been cleverly averted, and the thousands of things required to get to the start are all now officially history."

You are ready, ladies. Now, let the fun begin!!

PS - to Frances: yes I'm a SQ mom! Our group is the BEST and I would love to talk to you about tri training anytime! I couldn't get your contact info from the comment you made on my blog so just track me down through SQ or leave me your contact info.

What a FANTASTIC weekend!!!

2008-09-21T18:42:00.006-05:00

Okay, so the nitty-gritty of this fantastic weekend? Let's skip ahead to everything except the training details shall we? Unless you are all dying to find out how I reorganized my linen closet. So, on Saturday, I didn't wake up until 8 am (woohoo!) and finally made my way out to run at about 10am. It was absolutely beautiful!!! While Derek (who was joining me after already running a 6 miler earlier that morning)and I ran, we chatted and laughed and just enjoyed our nice lazy 5 mile run together. When we got home, I spent about 30 minutes stretching and doing my PT exercises. This was the longest pavement run I've done since the femoral stress fx and, thankfully, everything felt GREAT!

On Sunday, Derek and I joined the RABA group for a 54 mile route that started about 5minutes from my house. Even better than that? It started at 9am!! Two days of sleeping in!! Hallelujah for that!!! You know, I was really nervous going on my first ride with this cycling group! Isn't that funny? I felt like I was starting my first day of school and had to try to make new friends or something! "Does my outfit look okay?" "Will they like me?" "Hope they don't think I suck!" Silly isn't it? I really believe branching out to different groups helps you be a more well-rounded person. And by stepping out of my comfort zone and introducing myself to different situations and groups of people, I always remember that "new girl" feeling. And, that helps makes sure I'm never one of those awful, intimidating clique-ey people! You know the ones? Where you approach a group and they all look at you but no one says hello. Yeah, they suck. Anyway, my aversion to "cliquiness" is a whole blog in itself so back to the ride . . . As it turns out, everyone was really welcoming and friendly and the ride was absolutely gorgeous!! I had no idea I had such a great ride route so close to my house! In the next few weeks, my plan is to make french toast, fresh fruit and mimosas and try to lure the TRIgirls out here for a nice ride followed by brunch at my place!!!

So my plan for this week? Continue plugging away at my run while helping to calm Kelsey's nerves about her first "real" swim meet this weekend. She's swam in casual summer league meets but she's now part of a year-round swim team and she is swimming some crazy stuff. Here's her event list for this weekend:

200 Freestyle
50 Backstroke
100 Breaststroke
50 Butterfly
100 IM (25 each of Fly, Back, Breast, Free)
100 Freestyle
50 Breaststroke
100 Butterfly
50 Freestyle
100 Backstroke

I would die!! Seriously. 100 of Buttefly?!? Good God. Shoot me now. She's very, very nervous so send her some of that great TRIgirl mojo!!

Officially back . . .

2008-09-19T07:50:00.002-05:00

Okay, this is my official re-entry into the world of blogging. So much has happened over the last few months -- both mentally and physically, that I felt I just couldn't keep up with life and blogging at the same time. But, now I feel a bit more settled and hope to check in a bit more often!

With my hiatus from racing this year, I have to admit, I have felt separated from my teammates. They are all gearing up for their respective races and I feel I'm just piddling around with no direction. I'll admit it. I'm jealous. Insanely jealous, actually. And, honestly, I'm sad. I miss them. I miss being part of "the team". I mean, I know I am still (and will always be) a TRIgirl but I miss the day-to-day fun that comes along with training with your teammates. I suppose I just feel a bit disconnected -- I can't wait for IMUSA . . .

Have I told anyone that I'm getting my USAT Coaching Certification in October? No?? That's probably because I wasn't sure I wanted to let people know. The plan is that I'll start "officially" coaching for TRIgirl next year (YAY!) but, you know, that little negative voice I thought I had squashed when I did IMFL?? Well, it's back. I haven't really told anyone because I imagine people thinking "Her? A coach? HA! What does she know??" Despite the really fantastic enouragement and confidence I have been getting from my own coaches, I still have that whole self-confidence issue eating away at me.

I am finally up to running 5 miles now (I know, big whoop!) But, it has been a long, slow road and I think (*hope*!) that I am doing everything right so that I'll be fit and ready to go when IMUSA training begins. Until then, I'm just going to keep plugging along like a turtle.

Okay, well. Hmmmm. Wow, I'm going to have to get used to this blogging thing again. I forgot how difficult it is to write down random thoughts!! I have a ride planned this weekend with the Richmond Area Bike Association so I guess I'll have more stuff to say after that (let's hope!!)

Soooooo tired . . .

2008-08-12T20:03:00.002-05:00

Is the non stop action of the Olympics making anyone else completely and utterly exhausted? I stay up all night and am wiped out all day. In fact, during my MRI today, I fell asleep in the tube! And for those of you who have had an MRI, you know how darn loud those things are!

Please, Olypmics, I love you but I beg you to cut me loose. You must end soon. I clearly can't handle the temptation of watching you anymore.

On another note, GOOD LUCK Timberman crew!! I can't wait to see how well you guys do! I'm wishing you a slippery swim, wicked fast bike and smoking dope run! xo

The crazy train has left the station . . .

2008-07-27T20:26:00.000-05:00

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!

IMBrazil

2008-05-25T21:36:00.003-05:00

Today many of my teammates did IM Brazil. I am so honored to know these amazing people and to be their friend. To do an Ironman is one thing -- to do 2 back to back Ironman's is, well, honestly, it's a wee bit crazy! But it is also unbelievably awesome!

You would think they would have been nervous -- or burned out -- or just crazed prior to the race. And, maybe in private they were. But, I have to say, I had dinner/drinks with most of them at various times within the two weeks leading up to Brazil and they were all so CALM. They seemed confident, ready and prepared. And, today, all of that hard-work, preparation and confidence paid off. What a tremendous group of athletes!!

To my awesome IMBrazil friends: you inspire me each and every time I have the opportunity to spend time with you. Much, much love and congratulations to all of you!!

xoxoxox

C

Thank you . . .

2008-05-14T20:44:00.004-05:00

Today I was depressed because I found out that I needed to stop running again (yeah, long story - I can go back to 1/2 mile distances next week). Anyway, I was so upset about the fact that I was taking steps backwards; that Timberman may be out; that my "season" may pretty much not be a "season" after all. I was pretty bummed and feeling oh-so-very sorry for myself. Talking about how broken my heart was. Darn, what if I can't do Muddy Buddy? Poor me, what if I can't do the Charlottesville Oly? Wah-wah, what if I can't run the Richmond Marathon?

Then I remembered what else happened today . . .

somewhere out there, a single parent lost their job;
there was someone who sat alone and scared after finding out they were terminally ill;
out there someone was waiting for help after getting into a terrible car accident;
somewhere there is someone who is hiding in genuine fear for their life;
there is someone who went to bed hungry;
someone held the hands of a loved one as they passed away;
there is a child somewhere who lost a parent and,
somewhere out there, a parent is grieving the unbearable loss of their child.

These truly heart wrenching things happen every, single day.

Me? Well, in actuality, today, I saw my daughter ride a two wheeler without training wheels for the first time. Today, I got a hug from each one of my children and my husband. Tonight, I will go to bed knowing I am loved, protected and cared for by my family, my friends and my faith.

My glass is more than half full -- it is overflowing with joy and happiness.
Running? Honestly. How ridiculous is that compared to those who are going through real turmoil in their lives. I mean, what the hell? I will come back and run again -- and until then I will work hard to remember that the sun still shines so brightly on my life and for that I am forever thankful.

"The unthankful heart . . . discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" Henry Ward Beecher

Wow.

2008-05-13T10:04:00.005-05:00

Who is Iron Man? “Expert Michael Sangiacomo introduces us to the bad boy of the Superhero world, a man who gave up his evil ways, but not his love for drink and women in his pursuit of helping the greater good.” UM. I don't think so. The only thing Ironman has in common with this “Iron-man” cartoon guy is the “love for drink” part.

I wanted to share the dumbest post-Ironman comment ever said to me:

I am sitting having lunch at the Capital to Capital century ride. I am donning my super-cool Florida Ironman bike jersey. I worked my ass off for it and I wear it with ridiculous pride. A fellow cyclist says to me, “Oh, wow. Nice shirt. Did you see the movie?”

Um. Excuse me???

To be clear: THERE. IS. ONLY. ONE. IRONMAN.

In case anyone is wondering what the runner-up is for stupid post-Ironman comment:

Someone who knows that I did the Ironman asked me if my M-Dot tattoo was real. My response: “Um, yeah, most people don’t go ‘wild & crazy’ and just get a temporary tattoo after doing the Ironman.” And, to double the stupidity, he asked me this MONTHS after the Ironman. Like I’d keep reapplying a temporary tattoo!!

I AM A BIG BABY . . .

2008-05-04T21:23:00.005-05:00

Okay, I know I'm being a baby about this but the relay splits were just posted and, well, I'm a little pissed. I felt really strong on the bike. And, my bike computer registered a time of 2:49.46 from the time my bike first moved in transition to the time it was racked after the bike. So, given that I was at the back of the transition area, I estimated my "official" bike time to be about 2:48ish. Derek timed me at 2:47 and change. I have time stamped pictures on my camera of me leaving transition after the swim and coming back after the bike and it is an elapsed time of 2:47-2:48. My official bike time according to Set Up? 2:51.00 What the F????? I know. It's only a few minutes but dammmmnnn it!!!! I'm just totally disappointed with this. It was SOOOOO hard knowing I was going into this race as a relay and it was so painful and anti-climatic to "finish" after the bike. And my swim time was 42:22 which is the slowest I've ever swam this distance. All I had to make me proud of myself was that I had a great bike. And, now, I don't know. It feels tarnished. :(

But, the official time is all that counts so I can stomp my feet and beat my head against the wall for as long as I want but the fact is, my official time is 2:51.00 ARGH!! Okay, I know I'm being such a baby -- I mean, at least I raced right? It was a beautiful day and I was totally inspired by SOOO many TRIgirls and I'm sitting here bitching about 3-4 minutes difference? But I don't care. I'm going to be a baby and go have a glass of wine!!!!

Little-Big Adventure Race Report . . .

2008-04-28T20:29:00.013-05:00

Last Saturday, Kelsey and her Daddy (racing as Team "TRIgirl and TRIgirl Daddy") competed in the Little-Big Adventure Race. The race is made up of teams of one parent & one child and the course consists of a 1/2 mile canoe, 3.5 mile mountain bike ride and 1.5 mile run. This was Kelsey's first "real" triathlon and she was NERVOUS!! She's done a little kids one before without a real transition, timing, etc. but this one had chip timing, a finisher's chute, transition area, packet pick-up . . . the whole deal! This was everything she has seen me and all the other pink chicks she looks up to do time and time again and she definitely had a case of pre-race nerves. Mommy, in her infinite wisdom, gave her a shot of her trusty Green Apple caffeinated gel right before the start of the race (she almost puked, by the way) and then she was ready!

The morning was beautiful and started out perfectly. We chilled out with Coach E and his son Henry (who were Team "Jumbo Shrimp") and I got a fly-by kiss and hello from the lovely and wonderful TRIgirl Twila who was out training for the Run Like a Girl race next weekend!!

When Kelsey and Derek started off in the canoe they looked great! Kelsey was serious and totally had her game face on!

Then, disaster struck! Despite Team TRIgirl's great start, when they were about 100 feet from the end of the canoe leg, they TIPPED their boat!!!! And, of course, being the ultra-stupid Mommy that I am, I had told Kelsey earlier that morning how lucky she was that she was canoeing instead of swimming because I always see snakes in that lake! I really wasn't trying to freak her out -- I totally assumed that since Derek used to be a whitewater rafting guide, that they would actually remain IN the canoe during the race!

Anyway, by the time they swam their boat to shore, dragged it out of the water, emptied and started on their way, Kelsey was crying and they were a few teams up from last place. Again, my "Super Mommy" skills kicked into high gear and while the other spectators were clapping and yelling sympathetic and encouraging words like "It's okay!" and "You're doing great!", I shouted out "Kelsey! You've got to suck it up!!! If you want this, then get it together and go get them on the bike! Now stop crying and PUSH THAT CANOE!!" Yeah, I can't wait for my "Mother of the Year" trophy!

Kelsey looked shaken going into the bike leg and I was worried about how she was going to holdl up mentally for the rest of the race. I found the perfect photo op spot, and I planned to get some great pics of team Jumbo Shrimp (who were a good 10 minutes ahead at the end of the canoe portion) before having to grab my signs for TRIgirl & her Daddy. Suddenly rounding the corner came Team Jumbo Shrimp looking strong and ready to tackle the run. Then imagine how impressed I was when right on their tail was Team TRIgirl & her Daddy!!!! She totally channeled the TRIgirl mojo and had passed almost everyone in her wave on the bike leg! GO itty-bitty TRIgirl!!!!

So all was left was the run. I knew that Kelsey had a chance of placing at her first race if she could keep it up for the run. But I also knew that she was so very tired and had already done such an amazing job on the bike. I was so amazingly proud of her that I was crying before she even took 10 feet in the run!!! I camped out at the finish line and just waited to see her smiling face round the corner. Before I EVER expected her, suddenly, there she was!!! As soon as she saw that finisher's chute, she picked up her pace and her face lit up. When she crossed that line, she came through strong and with an enormous smile on her face!! And, I was so amazingly proud!!

You cannot imagine how special and how valuable it is to me that my children are being raised in an environment that exposes them to such strong, brave, amazing women. The pride they feel when they wear a TRIgirl shirt or hat is absolutely unbelievable. A few weeks ago, Kelsey came in 5th out of 5 in a 5k race. She, understandably, started to cry. I pulled her aside and I told her, "Kelsey don't forget that you are wearing a TRIgirl jersey. Do you know what that means? It means we don't measure ourselves by the numbers. We don't define ourselves by times or place in a race. We believe that ALL women -- and ALL girls -- deserve to be valued just for being on the playing field. Do you know how many people are sleeping right now? How many people were too scared to get out here today and try? How many people simply said "I can't." So, I don't want you to look at that number. I want you to think about just how special YOU are for getting out there today. How hard YOU tried. How YOU felt during that race. What YOU learned. And then, if you have other goals of getting stronger or faster, that's fine. But don't ever let someone else steal your joy or the value of your accomplishments." And, she wiped her eyes and wore that jersey for the rest of the day with all the pride of a genuine, grown-up TRIgirl.

So, can I tell you how proud I am? I cannot. I simply cannot express how proud I am. I don't know if I could have done what she did. I don't know if I could have channeled that drive and pushed myself that hard -- I KNOW I would not have at ten years old!

So, how'd she do? Well let me tell you . . . Team TRIgirl & TRIgirl Daddy took FIRST PLACE in their age group!!! I don't think I've ever seen a happier little girl!! Good job, baby!!! I hope when I grow up, I will be just like you!!

Trust . . .

2008-04-12T18:33:00.010-05:00

This post is specifically for anyone who is getting ready for their first 1/2 Ironman -- most specifically, my awesome TRIgirl teammates who are in the final prep stages for White Lake's 1/2 IM!!
Trust: assured reliance on the ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

Future 1/2 IM'ers: you are now seated, buckled and taking the express track on the crazy train. Yes, I realize that you 'thought' your ride on the crazy train began months ago and consisted of miles upon miles on trainers, endless circles running along the WC hamster trail and permanent goggle eyes from all those hours in the pool -- well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you have really been on the 'metro-link' or 'monorail'. It's like the train but it has more flexibility. More stops. Maybe even the ability to get off and get back on after a day or two. But, now you are three weeks out from your first 1/2 IM. Let me put it this way: you have now boarded the official CRAZY Train and it has left the station. There are no more exits. No more stops. Your bags are in the cargo hold. And you must sit. Buckled. Waiting. You can almost see your destination. Maybe if you press your face to the glass and try to look really far ahead -- it's almost within view if you could just streeeetch a bit more to see in front of the train. But, no, that is not possible. Reaching your destination without losing your mind will be entirely dependent on one thing: TRUST

While on the train, you will see many other passengers. Some will spend hours running up and down the aisles. Some will be practicing dry land swimming drills or holding their breath to increase their oxygen capacity. Perhaps one or two will even be sticking their head out the window with their pointy-little aero helmets on. You will wonder: Am I ready? Shouldn't I be sticking my head out the window? Maybe I should have a pointy little helmet. Perhaps, this is the wrong train. Maybe I should have gotten on the short bus instead.

Let me share a secret with you: the HARDEST part of training is TRUSTING IN YOUR TRAINING! You are ready and you need to LET GO. I read this on another site:

"'Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness.'
The Buddha

Think about how badly you want to make the starting line. Use your goals to motivate you to train and then, when it counts the most and the heat of competition is turned up high, LET THEM GO. Success in athletics and life is a paradox. When it counts the most, you must LET GO of outcome and trust yourself. You must trust your training, trust your hard work, trust your muscle memory and relax, letting the race come to you. This is the only way that you can be successful and this is the only way that you’ll ultimately be happy. Holding on to the importance of this performance and dwelling on all that’s at stake will only kill your joy, rob you of your courage and steal your heart in the process. When you LET GO of winning, it will come and find you."

Now how true is that?

Let me guess how you're feeling: "I am not prepared." "I don't know everything." "Other people seem to know so much more than I do." "I'm not ready." "I need to do more." "Was my training program enough?"

Let me assure you of something: If Coach G says you're ready -- YOU ARE READY. Period. You WILL complete your goal. And, learning to trust in this is all part of your training. Training to trust takes just as much concentration, effort and determination as it takes to begin running, swimming or biking. Think about it. At one time in your life, you probably never thought you could run/bike/swim the individual distances of a 1/2 Ironman. But, now here you are and you have done all of those distances individually. Training to trust is the same. It will be hard. It will put you outside of your comfort zone. But it is just as necessary as training for any other discipline.

I used to work part time at a high ropes challenge course. We had this one initiative where participants would climb a 50 ft. narrow telephone pole. Once on top, they would precariously balance on top of the shaking pole while trying to turn around. Once facing the right direction, they would jump to try to catch a trapeze. Now, if the trapeze was on the ground, anyone and everyone could easily jump from one spot and catch it. But, when you are out of your comfort zone, sometimes perfectly reachable goals seem much further out of reach.

Inevitably, participants would climb the pole, balance on top, turn and then pause. Waiting. After all that hard work to get there, they would see their goal right in front of them but not trust in themselves -- or in me as their safety line. I would talk to them and try to coach them through the experience. I would remind them to trust me and my ability in my role. Then I would remind them to trust their equipment. Trust in the strength of their legs. Trust in their ability. Then let go and take that last leap of faith to try to reach their goal. At that point, each person had a choice to make -- listen to some of the people down below who may be whispering about how they did it differently when they climbed the pole or how how they questioned whether the goal was attainable at all. Or they could listen to the voice inside them that believed they could do it and, maybe, listen a little to me -- someone who had led dozens of people up that pole and had seen what it took to reach that goal. Happily, many times participants would choose to block out the whispers and trustingly leap through the air with arms outstretched toward the trapeze. They would come down happy and fulfilled for giving themselves fully to the experience. For those who didn't trust, there was always regret and a wish to do it again. But that wasn't the deal. There was only one chance. No do-overs. No second chances. Their opportunity had passed them. So, do not let doubt creep into your mind after all your hard work. Trust in your ability. Trust in your training. Trust in your coaches - Grandison, Mark, Ed, Som -- they have all seen what it takes to get you to this point. Trust the plan. And then go for your goal with your arms outstretched in front of you!

Now, with all that being said, maybe what you're really worried about is not whether you will finish but whether you will do as well as you'd like to. Maybe you need to reassess what your 'true' goals are. Do you have other 'sub-goals' like making certain times? Well, if that's the case, then that is dependent on YOU. From another site:

"TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR TRAINING

Want to maximize your chances of reaching your athletic dreams? Then start to practice the 10 most powerful words in the English language: "IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME." This means that to be successful you must understand that ultimately, everything rests on your shoulders. In short, it is up to YOU to determine how far you go in your sport. You have to take responsibility for your training. Blaming coaches, teammates, or lack of training opportunities is NOT practicing these 10 words. Don't look for excuses. Don't shoulder others with blame. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Understand that you alone have ultimate control over what you get out of practice and how far you go in your sport. Remember, if it is to be, it's up to YOU!"

So, for what it's worth, those are my few words of wisdom about these final tapering weeks. And, remember, to cherish every, single, tiny moment of this journey. This time will go by so fast and will seem like a distant memory at this time next year. Write down your thoughts, share them with your family or keep them for yourself, but find a way to remember everything you are feeling right now. This is an amazing time and an absolutely, awesome experience!!

"It is a great leap of faith you're taking, and the kind that flies in the face of all that logic and common sense we often use to strangle dreams before they get a chance to even see a hint of daylight. It is why you race, it is why we race...and you're going to make it. Enjoy this trip...the highs, the lows, the dark and the lighter moments. You'll have a hell of a time, and any attempt you make to do this will feel far better than the nagging regrets you'd have no answer for in your future if you were to walk away right now. Courage...this is your time to do it." Bob Mina

Rock on TRIgirls!

Disclaimer: Make no mistake -- after only two 1/2 IM's and 1 full Ironman, this post doesn't mean that I think of myself as an 'expert' by any means!! But, I know how a lot of you are feeling right now -- and I hope that sharing some of this helps. Much love!

SOOOOOOO proud. . .

2008-04-06T21:21:00.007-05:00

Just need to take a moment to be the proud mama here. All three of my girls raced yesterday: Kyle and Kelsey in the 10k and Rylee in the kids' mile. Times are:

Kyle, age 15: 1 hour 14 minutes

Kelsey, age 10: 1 hour 15 minutes

Rylee, age 6: 12 minutes and 31 seconds

I'm sooooo proud of them! They looked fantastic and, more than that, the affect TRIgirls has had on them is nothing less than AMAZING!! Derek ran with Kelsey and said that no fewer than 50 people said "Way to go TRIgirl!" and "Looking strong TRIgirl!" along the course. This was Kelsey's first race and she felt so supported and encouraged!! She even woke up this morning and asked if we could sign her up for the 5k next weekend!! I cannot express how happy and grateful I am that my children have been surrounded and influenced by such powerful and strong women! Because of this, they have learned ways to boost their confidence and I am sure they will grow into women who know they are strong and capable. And, I know they will know how to to help their sisters, daughters, grandmothers, friends and all other women to love themselves for their own "inner athlete" -- regardless of age or ability! Thank you to all the TRIgirls who have helped to shape my wonderful, special, amazing little girls!!

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin

Appreciate . . .

2008-04-04T19:41:00.004-05:00

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

I visited my doctor for a follow up today. This weekend I am going to go swimming. And, this weekend I am going for a bike ride. Yes, I am back on my feet -- sort of. It will still be a few more weeks until I am allowed to run but that's okay. I will wait. For now, I will swim to swim and bike to bike. Simply for the sheer pleasure of being able to do so. I will not solely focus on improving my time. I will not only think of distance. I will not lament my body's shortcomings or criticize my body for things I think it should be better at. I will thank my body for giving me the opportunity to be strong. I will appreciate what I have.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. And, like most things that happen in my life, when this happened I tried to think of what kind of learning I could take away from this experience. I discovered that need to treat my body better. I dont just need to fuel it and exercise it. So from now on, I will treat my body better. I will care for it. Listen to it. Appreciate it. I will value what it can do for me so that I can spend my time doing what I love so much.

And, soon, I will be out there with my teammates again. And, I can't wait.

Seriously?!?

2008-03-19T12:32:00.001-05:00

Is fate playing some sort of evil little joke on me? I'll make this short -- my doctor (who is the head of the practice's sports medicine deparment) was out of town last week when my MRI films first came back. The doctor acting in his absence stated "stress reaction" so that is what we've been basing my treatment on. Yesterday I had a follow up with my doctor and he elluded to the fact that he thought he did, indeed, see a crack in my bone. I didn't think much of it because there was still the chance it was a stress reaction -- and I wanted to be optimistic. He said he was going to have a friend of his (who also happens to be the head of VCU's sports department) take a second look at my films. Today I got a call. He and the other doctor both concur that after a second examination of my films they most definitely see a crack. It is a full stress fracture. I am now on crutches. I can do NOTHING for two weeks. This SUCKS!!!!

You know, you get to a point where you just have to laugh. I'm not there yet.

(PS - I am so grateful for all of you guys and your kind words though! It really does make me feel so much better. Thank you . . . )

Bye-bye Pink Lake . . .

2008-03-18T19:42:00.002-05:00

I had another doctor's appointment today to discuss my full recovery plan. Long story but White Lake is out. He really feels that it's just not enough time to heal well enough to run that distance. He did make me one guarantee: if I did run White Lake I would most definitely come home in some serious pain and, quite possibly, with the kind of stress fracture that would require pins or crutches in order to immobilize the hip. He actually said he didn't think I should walk it -- primarily because he thinks I would end up deciding to run (God, am I that transparent?!?). I finally conceeded and said I would do whatever I needed to do to make sure I could race at 100% at Timberman. So the plan now is 4 weeks of swimming (no pushing off the walls) and cycling. I will then let my body do what my body can do and heal in the amount of time it takes to heal so that I can race strong in New Hampshire.

I need to say this outloud: I am SOOOOOO bummed. Many, many tears have been shed(and, really, I don't cry). I'm hoping Set Up will agree to let me pull someone in as a runner and I can turn my entry into a relay but I'm still waiting to hear from them. Otherwise, I will still go to White Lake. I will swim and bike my ass off and then miserably sulk up to an official and grudgingly turn in my chip -- as a DNF. O-u-c-h. I have never quit anything in my life. This is going to hurt.

I'm going to have a glass of wine and allow myself to just sit and pout tonight. Tomorrow I will realize that I'm a damn lucky lady who should be counting the millions of blessings I have instead of magnifying one disappointing hiccup in in my life. But, again, tonight I allow myself to wallow. :(

The results are in . . .

2008-03-13T18:05:00.003-05:00

Well, it is not a full fracture. It's a stress reaction of my left femur. What the heck does that mean? Oh, I'm so glad you asked because I, too, had no clue. Apparently, stress fractures are more complex than one might think. And some doctors no longer refer to incidents of stress on your bones as a "fracture" and only refer to them as stress reactions unless you have a complete fracture. From my conversation with my doctor I understand it this way: there are three levels of stress related injuries to your bone: stress reactions (swelling of the bone marrow which causes stress to the outer layer of the bone) which then leads to a stress fracture (cracks in the outer layer from the swelling) then a full fracture (more like a splintering of the outer layer of bone). Although I am in the stage of "stress reaction" he said based on the MRI films he feels that I would have advanced to the level of "stress fracture" had I continued for even one more week of running. Damn. Had I followed Dr. A's instructions (which was to do physical therapy on my hip flexor, take a short run to "loosen up" today and then do the 13.1 on Sunday) he feels I would most definitely have come home with a stress fracture.

Okay, so what's the plan? One, no longer follow anything Dr. A said. Two, I take two full weeks off of running and cross-train on anything that does not cause ANY amount of pain to the femur. I'm hoping my plan can be to bike, swim and use the elliptical or do deep water running. In two weeks I can try running 1/4 to 1/2 mile to see how much healing has occurred. If I'm not in pain for a day or two after the run, I can do it again. Then I can begin increasing by 1/2 mile-1 mile at a time based on my pain levels. If I feel pain at all, I back off and then continue from where I was before I increased my mileage.

So, what the hell does that mean for White Lake? Well, here's my plan. I'm racing. Period. I'm going to follow the doctor's orders to a "T" until White Lake. Then, I'm racing -- sure, it won't be fast and it's sure to be a bit painful but I'll finish. I mean, really. It's not like I was planning on winning anyway. If I come home with a stress fracture then I will take 6-8 weeks off of running and I'll still have 6 weeks to ramp up for Timberman. If I don't come home with a stress fracture but find that my healing has been compromised, then I just start over with the slow, short runs while monitoring my pain level. Of course, this "Super Plan" has not been reviewed by my doctor (or by Coach G)!

I'm bummed about the time off from running but I do appreciate that in our efforts to get me seen ASAP, Derek and I accidentally made appointments for me with two different doctors on the same day. And I appreciate that my friend Jenn told me to just go ahead and see both when I told her I was going to cancel one of them. Had that not happened, I would have cancelled my appointment with Dr. B and just seen Dr. A. And, then I would have been in a world of hurt!!

You know, I'm really kinda pissed at Dr. A. See, if I only had gone to Dr. A I would have done the physical therapy thing thinking that I simply had a tight hip flexor. Not only would I have run the Half Marathon this weekend but I would have continued running afterward thinking that my hip flexor was just tight. And, do you know what could happen if a stress fracture of the femur goes untreated and becomes a full-on fracture? Look it up. It's not good. Let me put it this way, 2008 would have been shot. Maybe a lot of 2009, too. And, the more doctors I speak to, the more I've been told that because of the complications associated with a stress fracture of the femur, the industry standard is to get an MRI. X-rays are almost useless unless the stress fracture is very advanced. Shouldn't Dr. A have known this??? Honestly, it pisses me off.

Anyway, at least White Lake's 1/2 is not completely out of the question. I guess I'll just have to be really good about listening to the doctor. That's a challenge for me -- but Derek is here to make sure I don't get all "teenage rebel" about it.

To all you gals running Shamrock this weekend GOOD LUCK!! Run fast and I hope you have a tailwind the entire way! I'll be thinking of you!!! xoxo

2008-03-11T22:30:00.003-05:00

First off -- let me say -- I know a bunch of really smart women!! It's clear that everyone thinks I need to check out what the heck is going on with my leg before I commmit to any kind of running right now. And, I agree. DB's comment really hit home. Injuries do suck. Missing a race sucks. Missing an entire tri season would suck WAY more.

So, tomorrow I'm going follow Dr. A's advice and go to physical therapy to work out my hip flexor AND I'm following Dr. B's advice and getting my MRI. Luckily, Dr. B was able to talk the hospital into fitting me in -- albeit at 9pm at night! Who knew they did MRI's that late? I supposed I should "appreciate" (see, I'm using my "word"!) that I'm able to get it done so quickly. I'm not sure how long it will take before I get the results back but I'm hoping before the weekend. If it's a stress fracture, I'll deal with it. If it's not -- then I'll do a crazy, excited, little happy dance, take it easy, go to PT and then see how I feel about Sunday.

I, too, was a lot smarter about my "training" today and did the injured athlete's favorite exercise: swimming. That means I've swam TWICE in the same week!! That in itself is a miracle! It actually felt really nice to just chill out and swim. I managed to swim close to 2 miles before I got ridiculously bored and had to leave. I'm hoping that the swimming will at least keep me from gaining weight from all the "stress related" chocolate I've been eating!!

Hope . . .

2008-03-10T21:03:00.005-05:00

Today I went to the doctor -- well, two doctors actually because I wanted an instant second opinion. Both doctors specialize in sports medicine and both doctors gave me almost the same diagnosis for my leg pain. They suspect I may be suffering from a femoral stress fracture or a femoral neck stress fracture. Both doctors have different ways of dealing with this but it starts with an x-ray, MRI and hope/prayer/wishing that it is not a stress fracture and it is only some other weird obscure pain that develops as a part of training.

Anyway, here's what was said:

Doctor "A": This doctor read the x-rays and said that there did not seem to be a stress fracture. I was told that I could run but not bike and that I should see a physical therapist to do exercises to loosen my hip flexors. The theory was that the hip flexors could be putting pressure on my femoral nerve and is causing me to experience a "pinched nerve" feeling when I run. Okay, I'll buy that. But, I have to admit it seemed a little odd to me that Dr. A also said that I could continue running and it would be no problem to run the half-marathon this weekend. I mean, I'm seriously limping after a two mile run. Not that I don't think I could make it through a half marathon. My last long run was about 10 miles. It hurts when I start and it KILLS when I finish but it's somewhat manageable during the actual run.

Doctor "B" also ordered x-rays but said that most stress fractures to the femoral neck cannot be seen on an x-ray and, therefore, should be followed up with an MRI. Dr. B said that we could not really think about a recovery plan until we could definitively rule out stress fracture. What? I mean, I at least want options!! he said stress fracture would mean weeks of elliptical, biking and swimming instead of running. NOT the answer I wanted -- I'd rather go with Dr. A's whole tight hip flexor thing. He also said that I could bike but not run AT ALL until we got the results back since continuing to run on a femoral stress fracture can sometimes -- albeit rarely -- do so much damage that it causes complete hip replacement in an otherwise healthy young individual. Uh, no thank you.

So, I spoke with a friend of friend in the medical field. We'll call this one Doctor "C". Dr. C said that Dr. A should probably not have done some of the testing that was done on me (like asking me to jump up and down on one foot) if there was even the slightest indication that I had a femoral stress fracture. Dr. C also said that stress fractures of this type don't commonly show up on x-rays unless they are severe and concurred that an MRI is needed to completely rule out a stress fracture. Dr. C also said if two doctors' initial thought was that it was a stress fracture, then I needed to make sure that I was fully checked out before running again. If for no other reason than to get myself mentally straight during the run. The last thing I would need during a long run is to think I could be damaging myself to the point of needing a hip replacement! Although, that seems a little dramatic to me. I mean, really, a hip replacement? I'm not sure if I'm buying that.

But, keep in mind, I'm also a COMPLETE idiot. You know what I did? I actually was so upset about this that I went to the gym and got on the elliptical -- but then got pissed that I couldn't run and got on the treadmill and knocked out 2 miles. Sure I had to hold the handrails for the first 1/4 mile but then I felt okay. And then I walked like Quasimodo to my car and went home to take some Ibuprofen with a large wine chaser. Okay, and you want to know something else that's weird? Honestly, the only reason I'm blogging about this is because I'm superstitious. I think if I say it outloud, then I'll put a jinx on the whole "stress fracture" thing and it will really end up being nothing. I know. I'm totally strange. See why it was so difficult for me to narrow my weirdness down to only seven things in that earlier post? Honestly, I think I may be borderline retarded.

Anyway, now I have no clue what to do. Run the Half on Sunday (yay! but, ouch)?? Not run it (boo! but is that smarter since White Lake's in 2 months?)??? ARGH! I just don't know. Should I go with Dr. A because it's more of what I want to hear? Or play it safe and go with Dr. B who is being more conservative?? Damn. I have no clue what to do!!!!!!!!!!!

For now, I think I'll just hope it goes away. And have another glass of wine.

Muscle Bob Buff Pants, Here I Come . . .

2008-03-09T21:04:00.006-05:00

Tonight I. Went. Swimming. Yep, you heard right. "SpongeBob Arms" went to swim training! Okay, I realize that that's not really that impressive since it's only the first official swim training of the year! But, it felt SOOOO good and I'm really going to try to make it to more swims this year. So to keep me honest and on track I'm publicly stating where I'm at and where I hope to be by the end of the season:

Current times:
100 yard swim: 1:19
Running timed mile: 7:39; 10k: 54:13
Average bike speed based on my last 27 mile ride: 17.6 mph (okay, that hurt to write down -- I consistently averaged 19 mph on 50 miles rides last year. Apparently, I've gotten lazy -- that sucks.)

End of Season Goals:
100 yard swim: 1:05
Timed mile: 7:15; 10k: 50 minutes; 5k: 25 minutes
Average bike speed for a 50 mile ride: 20 mph

Okay. So now that it's there in black and white, I'm hoping it will help me stay focused to do it!! But, if I resort back to my old ways and you don't see me at swim training -- feel free to harass the hell out of me!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!

2008-02-29T08:21:00.005-05:00

Wishing a safe, fun filled, fantastic, super speedy race to Kathy Miller and Greg Mathe who are participating in IM New Zealand today!!! Both are first-time Ironman competitors! (You can read about Kathy's journey to IMNZ here: Kathy's Ironman Blog)

As of right now, (2:30 a.m. NZ time) it's RAINING there with 13 mph sustained winds!! I'm going to go outside and do my anti-rain dance!!

Good luck guys! Go kick some ass!!!

PS - Can't seem to find Athlete Tracking for this race!! ARGH!!!

Spongebob Arms . . .

2008-02-20T12:31:00.003-05:00

If I haven't said this before, I only swim during races. I don't really train at all. Pretty much a complete slacker. I only got in the pool something like 5 times (with the exception of during races) for the entire year prior to Ironman Florida. How stupid is that?!? I have often told people that this way of training has left me with Arnold Schwarznegger legs and Spongebob arms. Last night, it was proven beyond a doubt.

My mother got the kids a Wii for Christmas but it was backordered. It arrived last night.

Today . . . I'm embarassed to admit . . . my arms are sore . . . . from playing virtual boxing, tennis and baseball!!! I'm a FREAKIN' IRONMAN for God's sake! I can't believe I need a recovery day after playing a video game!! Needless to say, you will see me at a few more swim practices this year.

Hmmm. Perpaps this is a sign that I should re-think my whole "don't ever lift anything over 12 ozs." stregth-training plan.

Go TEAM HIGH ROAD!!

2008-02-18T23:25:00.004-05:00

The Tour of California is taking place right now and it holds a very special place in my heart. Mostly because it covers roads and routes that I have travelled so many times growing up in Cali. And one stage goes through the town where Derek and I were living right before we moved -- almost right by our house. Ahhh, if only the tour was around when we were living there. . .

Anyway, this year I am 100% backing Team High Road. Not only do they have a woman's team (YEAH!!), but they are an amazing team that is trying to bring back the respect that true cyclists and cycling teams deserve. With all the recent doping scandals, it's hard to believe in the skill and amazing athleticism associated with cycling. But Team High Road was started in order to be "transparently drug free". I mean, listen to this:

"Our teams are founded on the principles of clean and fair sport, personal commitment, and placing ones goals beside those of the team. We strive to create an environment of success for our athletes using the best methods, technology and personal development tools found across the world of sport. Our goals are to make change happen, to win by fair means, and represent the best aspects of sport."

HELL, YEAH! They actually test their riders more often and under stricter guidelines than are required. George Hincapie is their main "name" but they are filled with great riders and one of our guys is currently in 3rd place.

Check them out at www.highroadsports.com. They're worth watching. In the meantime, send some good ol' mojo toward Team High Road!!

Here comes the sun . . .

2008-02-15T21:55:00.003-05:00

I realize it has been just over a month since my last blog but life has just gotten crazy. And with things that are just not bloggable -- at least not enjoyably bloggable. But, today. Today was fantastic. Today it was sunny and I got to train outdoors. I forgot how much I missed being on my bike while enjoying the sunshine. Sure it was a bit windy. And, yes, a 3 hour bike ride followed by a 6 miles run may not sound like "fun" but, God, it cleared my head and cleansed my spirit.

I want to remove my hat, close my eyes,and feel the sun, warm and intermittent, on my face.”
William Collins

Today was a good day. Filled with sunshine, love (I was riding with my wonderful Derek) and friendship (my friend Jenn joined for a lap or two and I even ran into TG SanDee). Thank you Mother Nature for giving us this wonderful day in the middle of February!

My word. . .

2008-01-11T22:19:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking long and hard about my "word". The TRIgirls have been given an assignment to come up with one word that they will use as their focus for 2008. Choosing a word has proven be much more difficult than I initially thought. There are so many words that partially define what I'm aiming for but and it was really very difficult for me to find one word that fully encompassed everything that motivates me, encourages me and truly inspires me.

Then suddenly, I figured it out. My word is:

APPRECIATE

I know. Initially most people will think, what the heck? It's not the typical inspirational word like "courage", "confidence" "believe" or "persevere". But, when I thought about it, it really seemed to fit what I was focusing on this year.

The official Webster definition states:

appreciate

1. to be grateful or thankful for; I need to remember this more often. I am thankful and completely grateful to be on this journey. When I find myself complaining about waking up early, or the social plans I may miss or the difficulty involved in training I need to remind myself that I am truly fortunate to be able to do this. And, I need to show my family and friends how much they mean to me. I am so lucky to be surrounded by the people I have in my life. I want to give back to them this year and show them how much I appreciate having them in my life.

2. to be fully conscious of; be aware of; detect: ie: to appreciate the dangers of a situation. this, too, is something I need to focus on this year. Whether I'm running, biking or swimming I need to be fully aware of how significant every moment is. These are not moments to be wasted but should instead be cherished. I also need to appreciate what my body can -- and can't -- do at any given time. I want to really concentrate on how to listen to my body and to train smart this year.

3. to raise in value. In doing all of these things I want to raise the value of myself as a friend, a wife, a mother and an athlete. By the end of this year, I would like to know that I have become better in my own eyes and in they eyes of those that I love.

So, that's my word. APPRECIATE. Tomorrow as I'm sitting on the bike, I'm sure I will have to remind myself to appreciate the experience more than once!!

2008-01-07T22:24:00.000-05:00

Margo has tagged me to list seven weird things about me! HAHAHA!! Seven!! More like seven HUNDRED!!

1. I love peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. Really. Try it. You'll love it.

2. I pick my toe nails constantly. I know. Gross. But, I swear, I never bite them. My daughter, Booger, however, bites hers all the time.

3. I like to read the Dictionary. Words are just cool.

4. I'm scared of the dark. Totally, completely petrified.

5. I'm a wee bit scared of midgets. I know it's wrong. And, there's no reason for it. I have no excuse. It's just a flaw of mine.

6. I have a tic. I "sniffle" my nose. Sort of like Bewitched but not nearly as cute. I don't know why. My nose doesn't itch and it's not running. I just sniffle it.

7. I can wave my pinky toe. Without moving any other toes on my feet, I can make my pinky toe stick out and wave. On both feet, too. I know. The talent is endless.

But I'm okay with my weirdness. In fact, whenever I do something weird and Derek looks at me funny I tell him "Yeah, I'm weird but these are all the things you'd miss about me if I were dead." And, he would! Where else is he going to find some girl who eats peanut butter & pickle sandwiches while running from midgets waving her pinky toes?!?

Okay, so now who to tag??? Everyone's already been taken!! So, I'll just go ahead and TAG Derek (who has no blog but reads mine so he can post his weirdness for all to see!) and Kathy from NZ. So let's hear it! Bring on the weird!

I'M SO HAPPY!!!

2008-01-03T22:47:00.001-05:00

Sing with me "It's the most wonderful time of the year . . ." Okay, I know. That's a wacky way to follow up my whole "I hate winter" tantrum but last night I registered for the first tri of the season. Woohoo!! I can feel it coming. The training that we say we hate but we secretly long for, the comraderie of being on an awesome team, the setbacks, the PRs, the excitement of race day. Woohoo, again!!! I get excited just thinking about that moment right before you start a race when your adrenaline is pumping and your jumping out of your skin!! Toeing that line and thinking, "will my training payoff? is today a good day or will I struggle?" and, really, "will I do myself proud?" I just LOVE race day! It totally makes up for all those days of waking up at the crack of dawn just to drag your sleepy butt out of bed to run in -1,000 degrees!

There will be 33 of us at the first race and it's going to be FLIPPIN' AMAZING!!! I can't explain how awesome it is to see that pink on the course -- high-fiving, encouraging one another, and cheering eachother on. It makes the race such a great experience.

Woohoo, for a third time!!! Bring on the tri-season!!!!!

Winter . . .

2007-12-27T22:44:00.000-05:00

I am a California girl. Through and through. And what does that mean? Winter kills me. It's like water to the Wicked Witch. Or Kryptonite to Superman. It is literally sucking the life out of me. If I don't get bright beautiful sunshine at least once a week I get depressed. I honestly think I have that SAD disease where you need sunlight on a regular basis or you go wacko. Now I know most of you are probably saying, "What? Richmond has mild winters! And this one has been warm so far!" That may be true but, you see, I grew up in So. Cal. I like tank tops -- ALL YEAR LONG. I DESPISE jackets and sweaters and all this other bundled up stuff that makes me feel like the Michelin man.

A week or so ago we had an unseasonably warm night. I actually went for a run in shorts and a t-shirt. And I was like some maniac on crack. I wouldn't stop running. Despite the fact that I've been put on running restriction for my achilles and the fact that I usually dislike running! I just kept going and going like Forest Gump. If I hadn't had to fix the kids dinner, I think I would have just kept going until the weather got cold again -- which was the next day. Ugh!

Okay, enough of my bitching. I'll write something more positive soon (if it's warm) And, really, how many days until Spring???

Remembering the Ironman . . . the Finale.

2007-12-09T18:18:00.000-05:00

So, it has been just over one month since the Ironman and life has managed to go forward for everyone around me without much of a change. It's so odd. It reminds me of when I got married or when I had my children. Everything about me -- my core, my very center, my life -- had chanaged dramatically and yet the miracle that had occured in my life was virtually unnoticed by those around me. When I had my first daughter I wanted to shout, "People!! Have you not noticed that much like Alien, an entire human being just popped out of me!! Granted, she is not a monster -- she is, in fact, an angel -- but, either way, since this miracle has occured surely life must take a moment -- time must at least hiccup -- so everyone can cherish this amazing gift!!!" That, of course, never happened. I suppose it is not the act of having a child that is the miracle -- it is the change that occurs in your soul that is so miraculous.

Ironman was very similar for me. How was it possible that friends could ask "how was Ironman" in one breath and then begin telling me about the long lines that they had to endure at the grocery store or ask me if I've seen the latest popular tv show in the next. I just completed an IRONMAN!! Shouldn't time have stopped? Shouldn't the oceans have parted? At the very least animals should have begun walking on two legs and speaking proper English!! Do not misunderstand me -- it's not that the people who love and support me didn't care -- it's simply that this is another one of those amazing experiences that is so self-contained within yourself that it is utterly impossible for others who have not experienced it to understand. But, make no mistake: it is AMAZING!! Absolutely beyond description. And, for the rest of my life, I will be markedly changed by this experience.

I have realized I am STRONG. Much stronger than I thought. I have the will to perservere and I will call upon this when life throws me for a loop.

I have learned that I can TRUST. This is usually difficult for me. I want to do things on my own and do not find it easy to trust someone to guide me blindly into the unknown -- particularly something that I am fearful of. But, I trusted my coaches on this journey -- fully and completely. I put my dream in their hands and I've learned that I can trust others to lead and it's okay for me to follow.

I've learned that I am WORTHY. I deserved this. I worked hard and was dedicated to this for a long time. I deserve to be proud. I can allow myself to toot my own horn. No matter how uncomfortable that is for me. I do not like attention. But I will allow myself to be openly proud of this accomplishment. And I will wear my new Ironman jacket with the enormous M-dot on the back with all the confidence and pride that I feel inside!!

And, most importantly, I've learned YES I CAN! That one statement that the wonderful Kate O. put on my arm in the early morning of the Ironman will carry me through many, many tough moments in my life. In the past, I have always held a little back in everything I've ever done. Mostly out of fear of failure. What if I couldn't do it? When I was doubtful, that little voice in my head would say "you can't do this. You know you can't handle this" And, now that faint whispering voice has been replaced by a loud, confident voice that screams "YES YOU CAN!" And, it is a wonderful sound!

So, Ironman is over. And I have a beautiful, pale pink M-dot tattoo on the back of my ankle to mark my accomplishment (courtesy of Coach Som!) I have wondered what I'm going to do this next year -- what will fill my time and strike that passion that Ironman did. And, I realize, that it cannot be recreated. It,again, reminds me of having a child: no matter how much you love the first one, it cannot be duplicated. Right now, I cannot imagine enjoying the next experience or being as touched as I have from this one -- but I know that once I plan and go for my next Ironman it will have its own unique, special qualities and I will undoubtedly love it just as much as my first. Until then, I am going to enjoy the next year of half-Ironmans and racing for "fun".

While, of course, waiting for the day IMAZ 2009 opens up . . .

Remembering the Ironman . . . Part 4 of 1,000,000

2007-11-18T21:43:00.001-05:00

MARATHON: –noun
1. a foot race over a course measuring 26 mi. 385 yd. (42 km 195 m).
2. any contest, event, or the like, of great, or greater than normal, length or duration or requiring exceptional endurance

"Exceptional endurance . . ." That, my friends, is no joke. In the Ironman, I completed my first marathon.

First some background: when I was sixteen I tore my MCL and after surgery, 2 months in a cast and 6 months of physical training was told that there were certain activities that I would never be able to do: skiing and running. To make a long, loooooong, story short, I tore my MCL twice since then and doctors have always said the same thing: don't run. And, although at the time I had never even thought about running, hearing the words "do not" simply made me say "why the hell not? What do you 'doctors' know anyway?" (yeah, I realize that attitude is very '15 year old, hormonal teenager' but, never fear, I'm getting more than my share of payback from my own 15 year old hormonal teenager!!) Anyway, really, you see those guys in the NFL blow an ACL or MCL and get back out there a few weeks later, so it clearly could be done. I was not satisified to accept this silly diagnosis of "do not run." At first I rebelliously ran -- but wore my mammoth, jointed knee brace just to be safe. But a brace was uncomfortable so a few years ago, I decided to throw away the brace and take my chances. Two years ago, my orthopaedist told me that I needed surgery. I was not willing to accept that in order to continue they lifestyle that I wanted that I would have be in and out of stupid knee surgeries and physical therapy. I told my doctor that I would take my chances and that I was not going to have another surgery, I was not going to do physical therapy and I was not going to stop running. What I WAS going to do was to learn how to run properly, to strengthen my legs to protect my joint and to learn to listen to my body. And, through the years, I think I have accomplished that(knock, knock, KNOCK on wood!!!!) Although, on every run, no matter how long or short, the words "do not run" sit in the back of my mind causing me to question whether I can accomplish my goals. And, I still have knee issues -- it slips out now and then, it swells and it gets sore. But, that's life. I've accepted that I will never be the fastest runner and I still refuse to wear a brace. Which may or may not be stupid. But, then again, I also refused to accept the idea that I couldn't run. And, that was not stupid because now, I am an Ironman. So, perhaps, that gives you an idea of why this portion of the Ironman meant so much to me -- and why I was so fearful as I headed out of T2.

As I took the first few steps onto the run course, I was surprised at how good my legs felt. They really felt fresh and I was actually happy to be running instead of on the bike. The crowd around the transition area is immense so you get a lot of encouragement as you begin. And, having your name on your bib really helps A LOT. Specatators call you by name and personalize their support. "Cyndi! Look at you! You look great!" "Oh, man, Cyndi! I can see it! You want this, girl! Go get it!" "You're looking so strong, Cyndi! You've got this!" All these comments (and many more!) were said by people I didn't even know. People who had been out there for hours upon hours simply to motivate and encourage all of the athletes. They weren't there simply to see the "show" that the pros would put on. They were there for us. The ordinary guys and girls working our asses off to cross that finish line. The people who live along the course had turned their homes into house parties, playing music, shouting, yelling and running along side a lot of the runners. It was truly unbelieveable.

The IMFL run course consists of two loops and I was lucky to start my first loop in the daylight. Between mile 0-8, I felt really strong. Around mile 9, I started to waver. All I could think about was seeing the smiling faces of my kids at the turnaround that starts the second lap. As I counted down the miles that would take me to the 1/2 way point, I became more and more excited about seeing their faces. I needed a high five from my Booger. A smile and kiss from my Kelsey. A shoutout from Nick and some strong "girls' rock" mojo from my sweet Kyle. But as I headed down the chute toward the turnaround point I saw my husband standing there -- but not one of my kids. I ran by yelling "Where are my kids?" He shouted back that his parents had taken them to the expo. Um, what?? I headed into the run special needs area and tried to focus my mind on getting everything I would need for the run. But I couldn't. I was starting to cry -- and I don't cry. I wanted my kids. I ran out of the special needs area with 1/2 the amount of gel and food that I needed and stopped dead in my tracks to talk to my husband. I was beginning to cry and asking where my kids were, again. I told him how much I needed them and how hard this was and then I ran off with tears in my eyes.

For the next two miles I ran/walked while trying to hold back tears. I couldn't think of my nutrition or my hydration. I didn't think of pace. I simply -- well -- I simply pouted. Ridiculous, isn't it? I was doing a freakin' Ironman and throwing a tantrum!!! What the hell?!? Let's just say I was delirious. I mean, it wasn't my husband's fault. He explained to my inlaws that the only thing I wanted was to see my family every time I came through transition. But, his family overruled him because they thought I'd be tired -- too tired to even realize whether the kids were there or not so they took them to the museum, to dinner and then back to the hotel to chill out. UGH! Even writing that makes me mad all over again! All I asked for was their faces -- for 5 flippin' minutes. But, I also realize that his parents didn't do this on purpose. They have no idea what this ordeal entails and, despite my specific request to have the kids there, they thought they were helping. They never would have taken them back to the hotel if they had any idea of how much it would hurt me -- or how much it would affect my "mental" state during the race.

Anyway, at mile 16 or so, I finally got my head together and faced the fact that I could either finish this race pouting and angry or I could focus my energy into finishing this race strong and realizing that in the long run, this moment of sadness would mean nothing compared to the joy of finishing the Ironman. So, I began to run again. And I continued on, as it got dark, for the next few miles. I saw Karen again and got a hug as she was heading into the last few miles before the finish. She looked amazing! I saw Grandison, looking strong and beautiful as she glided along in the run. I missed Susie Q passing me but I'm sure she was in the "zone" -- uh, Susie, maybe a little too far into the "zone"! :D Lynn and Anna, Deanna L and Deanna B, and then, Carmen. Seeing her on the race course just makes me happy! She gave me the last hug that I got before I headed into the last few miles and it carried me all the way through the finish. Thanks, CH!

I should mention that I had a great running "buddy" from mile 20ish until the finish. I don't know his name but he was some guy who had done 2 Ironman's in the past. IMFL was the first one he'd ever done, as well. It was great having someone to talk to as I tried to take my mind off the last few miles. My legs were killing me. Every muscle in my legs hurt. My ankles, my achilles, my quads. Everything. My feet were so terribly blistered but I didn't want to stop because I knew that starting again would be so much worse. In the back of my mind I was worried about my knee. It was shifting a lot and I just tried to keep my form so that I wouldn't put it in a position that would cause it to go out from under me. But, being tired made keeping "good" form very difficult. As my "buddy" and I ran, he told me how good it would feel to cross that finish line and that is really what helped me through those last miles.

Right before we turned to make that last 1/4 mile stretch to the finish line, he stopped me. He said, "Make sure to go slow. Take it in. It goes too fast. Remember it. It's your first." Then we made the turn and saw the crowd that leads you into the finish. As we started down the finisher's chute, he let me go ahead and live the moment of my first Ironman. I remember this man reaching his hand out from the sidelines and screaming, "You did it! You did it, Cyndi! Yeah! You did it!!" I high fived his hand with a huge smile on my face and was taken aback by the emotional moment I was sharing with this stranger who at that moment seemed so much more like a friend. A few yards up, I heard my son's voice yell. Just a single voice in that huge crown yelling "YEAH!!! YEAH!!!! YOU DID IT!!" and I was able to turn right to him and find him within the crowd of people. His smile and the look of joy on his face will be in my heart forever. God, he looked so proud of me . . Before I could run to him to give him a hug, he took off running to let everyone else know I was coming into the finish.

As I came upon the finish line, a bunch of people were in front of me and one woman was smiling and almost crying with pride. In my head I thought, "Oh, what a nice lady!!" Then I realized it was my sister!!! She was in the finisher's chute and was going to run with me into the finish. We clasped hands as we ran toward the finish line. As she went on and on about how proud she was, I heard those words through the crowd . . . "Cyndi Dambacher, YOUR ARE AN IRONMAN!" And I was across the line and in the arms of my family and friends.

I was so happy when I crossed the line that my family said it was like I was drunk! I hugged the woman who gave me my medal. I hugged the man who gave me my tinfoil blanket. I hugged my in-laws, my nephews, my husband and my children. And then I saw Coach G. and I hugged her with all the appreciation, thanks and love in my heart -- for believing in me, inspiring me and allowing me to see that my dreams were within my reach.

I couldn't believe it. I was an Ironman. Wait, I AM an Ironman. This may not mean much to those who have never heard of this sport. But that's okay with me. It should be a secret. A secret gift that only those who are willing to fight for it can have. It is, indeed, a gift -- and the sacrifice, pain and dedication it took to get here was worth it just to experience every, wonderful, exhilerating moment on this journey.

Next up: Reflection . . . and the tattoo!

Remembering the Ironman, Part 3 of 1,000,000 . . . .

2007-11-14T21:54:00.000-05:00

It's all about the bike . . .

First let me tell you that my memories of Ironman are already starting to fade. It's so sad that I cannot sit and relish all the moments of this adventure for just a little bit longer. But, alas, that thing called "life" seems to keep pulling me out of my Ironman-induced euphoria. I am actually a bit depressed -- I'm missing being on the journey toward my Ironman goal, missing my teammates and simply wondering how the time went by so damn fast. Bummer.

Anyway, back to the bike: I'll admit that the bike is where I live. I am the most comfortable there and I enjoy it more than any other discipline. I could cycle a century every weekend and be a happy, happy gal. So, I had one goal on the bike: don't enjoy myself too much so that I wouldn't have anything left for the run. I followed Blake's instructions to ride easy for the first hour to hour and a half so that I'd have the energy to really come through in the end. But, God, it was so hard to have people passing me right out of the chute while I put my faith into believing that they would lose steam as the ride progressed and I would be able to catch up or pass them in the end -- at least, I hoped that's what would happen!

I had one other goal for the bike. Learn to pee on the bike. I know that seems silly (or gross) but it's very common and a skill that actually takes practice! When I left transition I had to pee and I really didn't want to stop at the port-o-lets but despite my best effort, I just couldn't do it. I mean, how the hell do you pedal and pee at the same time??? So, at mile 20 I was forced to stop at the port-o-let -- that had a line of at least 10 people in front of me. Now, prior to the Ironman, the race organizers made sure that we understood that we could not pull to the side of the road and pee in the woods or bushes. If we did, and got caught, we would be arrested on the spot and DQ'd from the race. Well, I certainly wasn't going to have my IM dream go down the tubes just because I needed to pee so I thought I should play by the rules. I waited in line for almost 15 full minutes before I got my turn in the bathroom. I had time to eat, refill my bottles, talk to the volunteers, get a massage, take a nap . . . it seemed to take FOREVER!! I mean, if they're going to have a rule like that, they need to make sure to have more than 1-2 port-o-lets per water stop to accomodate over 2,000 athletes!! Anyway, throughout the race I had to stop 3 times!! Luckily the last two stops at mile 50 and 80ish had shorter lines. Either way, I figure it cost me about 25 minutes in bike time.

Throughout the entire bike I felt really good. I used the time to take in my food and hydrate and really just enjoyed the scenery. The field is pretty crowded out there so you have a lot of time to leapfrog with other bikers and talk a little. The one bad thing that happens with a field this crowded is that a lot of people totally break the drafting rule. I can't tell you how many people I saw purposely drafting off the bikers in front of them!! It was really kind of disappointing. But I figured, if that's the way they want to complete their Ironman, then fine. But, I'm coming through knowing that no one got me there but myself. And, then, I met Randy.

Randy was this red-headed overweight rider who was riding right on my ass. Hmmm. Perhaps he doesn't realize he's drafting. That's okay. I'll just drop him. I picked up my pace, passed a few people and figured I left Randy behind me. Until I looked back again. Randy was still right behind me. Okay, jerk, now I know you're drafting off me -- and it was purposeful. So now my goal was to drop cheater Randy. At one point we were going down a little hill and Randy's weight put him in front of me (which is when learned his name since Ironman puts your name on your bib -- until then, he was just red headed cheater guy). When we got to another little hill, I passed Randy again and he immediately jumped on my tail. I tried unsuccessfully to drop him one more time and then I was forced to use the best skill ever taught to any cyclist: the snot rocket. I quickly looked back, put myself in position and snotted right at my new pal Randy. Randy dropped back and I didn't see him again. :)

When you pull into transition from the bike, they lead your through Ironman village. The chute toward transition is lined with spectators. When you go through, you feel the energy of the crowd. You see their faces, you hear people calling your name and you have no choice but to smile and take in the amazing experience. As I came through, it was like a roar. My family was jumping up and down, yelling and screaming my name. I could see the love and excitement in their eyes and I was blown away by how proud they were of me. Little me. Just an ordinary girl going after an extraordinary dream. Dear God, I love them.

When I entered transition, a volunteer ran up to me to take my bike and rack it for me. Nice! I took off my bike shoes and ran through transition to the tent that I hoped contained my Bike to Run bag. As I stepped into the changing tent, Kate O came running up to me with my bags. (By the way, I forgot to mention that Kate wrote "YES YOU CAN" in bright red marker on my left forearm before the race. I can't tell you how many times I looked at that message on my arm. Thank you, Kate -- you were amazing!) Anyway, Kate performed this magic act of getting me undressed and re-dressed into my running gear in a matter of seconds. I'm not even kidding. I put my arms in the air, there was a flurry of clothes and voila! I was in running clothes. It was awesome. Kate was able to give me an update on who she had seen and we had a quick minute to take a picture. After that, I was ready to go to face my biggest fear and what I anticipated to be my largest obstacle. The run . . .

Remembering the Ironman . . . Part 2 of 1,000,000

2007-11-09T08:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, let's fast forward to packet pick-up. Coach G, TriGirls AnnaMac, Carmen and I went to pick up our packets together. First, let me say, that Ironman Village is incredible. There's just a lot of excitement and energy there. Now, Ironman packet pick up is not like your everyday triathlon packet pick-up. After you stand in line a volunteer gives you some forms to fill out and then you get weighed (ugh!). Then they invite you to sit with your very own volunteer. She warmly explained everything in my packet to me, made sure everything in my packet was in order, put a pretty little Ironman wristband on me and wished me luck on my special day.

Once back at the hotel I went through my packet and pulled out what seemed like a million bags I had to put my stuff in: Warm Clothes Bag, Special Needs Bike bag, Special Needs Run bag, Swim to Bike bag, Bike to Run Bag. Ahhh! I was feeling overwhelmed. I knew I would have bags but it didn't really hit me that it meant that I had to plan my entire race in advance. See, at an Ironman you have NO transition area by your bike. Everything you need must be packed in one of these bags -- fuel, hydration, bike shorts, helmet, shoes, bodyglide -- everything. This means if you need bodyglide before the swim and before the run, you better have two because one needs to go in each bag. The list I made at home about what I wanted in each bag REALLY came in handy at this time (that and my trusty husband sitting by my side helping me pack!) I just went through my checklist and started throwing things in bags. Then I tied them up, took them to transition and wished them luck. Note to self: tie bags in a way that is easy to untie when you're tired.

The night before the Ironman I had my staple dinner of pasta with salmon and set the three alarm clocks that I had with me. Now, I knew that I wouldn't need three alarm clocks but I read something that said you will sleep better just knowing that they're all there. And, it worked! I slept like a baby all night!

Derek and I headed off to the race with plans that my family would meet up with us so they could see the start of the swim. I have to admit I was pretty nervous -- excited, too -- but mainly feeling like I was going to puke.

As I entered transition, it was like a dream. The crowds of people, the music, the energy . . . it was amazing. I took a moment to just stand there and take it all in. I was here. I was going to do a flippin' Ironman. Me. As my mother told me the night before the race, "I can't believe my chubby girl is doing this . . " And, although I thought that was a screwed up way of saying she was proud of me, the truth is, I couldn't believe it either. Standing here at this great event was the girl who wouldn't even try out for drill team because she was too big. The girl who told her gym teacher that she had "female issues" every day that we were supposed to run around the track. The girl who always thought she was clumsy and un-athletic. The girl who always thought she'd be cheering on the sidelines instead of playing in the game. Again, it was simply amazing.

By the time we got to the swim start area all the TriGirls had managed to find eachother. We all looked anxious but ready to start the race. I has frantically looking for my kids who I knew had arrived but were having trouble finding me in the thousands of people. The clock was starting to tick down and soon I was going to have to enter the swim corral. I really needed a hug from my Booger and I was starting to get worried. Suddenly, out of the crowd, I heard "Mommy!!!" and there they all were -- wearing shirts that said "Proud Son/Daughter of an Ironman". Awwww, I love my family so much!! Now I was ready to start the race . . .

We entered the swim corral and I noticed that there was about 2 minutes until the starting gun went off. Holy flippin' crap!!! Okay, so my swim plan was this: swim. Period. Not on the inside, not on the ouside, not in the front or in the back. Just get in the water, find a spot and swim. Suddenly, the gun went off and all 2000+ swimmers starting running for the water. I walked into the water, took a moment to look at all the swimmers in front of me and really let it soak in. Here we go, I thought. And with that, I dove in and swam my little heart out.

The swim was everything you have heard. It's crowded, a washing machine of people. You get pulled, hit, kicked and shoved. But, with all that, it's really not that bad. I expected all these things to happen so I didn't stress when they did. I simply raised my head, adjusted my line, and kept swimming. Okay, around some guys, I'll admit, I did swim while throwing elbows -- but, I swear, they deserved it!

As I exited the water on the first lap, I saw my little Booger sitting on top of her Daddy's shoulders yelling her little heart out. I'm sure she was saying something like "Go, Mommy, Go!" although, with her sense of humor, she could very well have been yelling "Shark!!" Anyway, after the first loop in the water, I really felt I was in a rhythm. Not too slow and not too fast. I did get stuck in traffic around the first turn buoy which caused about 200 of us to tread water while trying to push our way around the buoy (by the way, it's hard to make forward progress when you're forced to remain vertical!) But, now the field was starting to open up and I felt the second lap would be even better than the first. And, it was. The time really seemed to fly by and when I exited the water for the second time, I felt great!

I jogged up the hill and while stripping down the top portion of my wetsuit. Then I took full advantage of the wetsuit strippers. You sit on the ground, lift your butt up and whoosh! off comes your wetsuit! It was very cool! Then we all made our way through the shower area to rinse off the saltwater. One bitch in the back kept shouting "keep it moving, keep it moving" as she pushed and shoved her way through everyone. Really, lady, you're not in front and you're not a pro so chill the f^%$ out!

When I got into the transition tent I was so happy to see Shelly! She was almost fully changed and ready to start on the bike leg. I stripped down in front of all my hundreds of new best friends and a volunteer quickly helped me change into my bike gear. On my way out, I saw TG Deanna B. and we gave eachother a quick hug (which, by the way, makes all the difference in a race. It's so great to see a friend and get a quick high-five or hug. It keeps you going with a smile on your face!) I also saw Grandison pumping away in the corner. What a rock star!! By the way, my mom told me that they mentioned on the internet broadcast that there was some amazing athlete who they heard was pumping in the transition tent. They had to be talking about our G!!

As I exited the tent, the volunteers shouted out my name and someone else quickly brought me my bike. One down, two to go. From my left I heard screaming and shouting and I looked to see my crew of 14 going nuts cheering for me. Good God, how lucky am I? And, what a great way to start the bike. I quickly raised my hand and did our family thing of saying "I love you" in sign language and I was off . . .

Next up: the bike.

Remembering the Ironman . . . Part 1 of 1,000,000

2007-11-08T19:10:00.000-05:00

At first I didn't think I could blog about this race because SO much has happened. But then I remembered that I'm using this blog as my IM journal and I want to remember every detail about my fantastic adventure to becoming an official IRONMAN. So, if you'll bear with me, I'm going to start at the beginning . . .

At 6 a.m. on Halloween morning, Derek (aka Big Dog), Nick and Kyle dropped Kelsey, Rylee and me off at the airport. The plan was to have me fly down with the little ones and Derek and the older two would drive straight through and meet us there in the evening. That meant that my guy and the older kids would be in the car for at least 12 hours -- and, you know what? They never complained about it -- at least not to me! :)

Kelsey and Rylee are excellent airline travelers so the trip down to Panama City was pretty uneventful. Derek had arranged for a car to pick us up and take us to the hotel so that, too, was completely non-stressful. The only minor delay we had was when we were taking a little turbo-prop from Atlanta into Panama City. The plane was almost entirely atheletes competing in the IM and the plane was having a difficult time loading all of the bikes into the cargo hold. Everyone on the plane was talking about the IM and it seemed that they had all done at least one Ironman before. I felt very much like the new kid in class and was sure that they all thought I was just some girly-girl going down to Panama City with my kids for vacation. Clearly, I didn't look like these uber-athletic Ironman competitors!! I tried to push my doubts from my mind and settle into taking care of the girls on the plane.

Derek's sister, Kim, and my niece, Jade, were already at the hotel when I arrived and my in-laws were expected to get there around 5pm. They had reserved 2 beautiful, 2 bedroom condos for us and we had an amazing view of the beach. I was hoping that Derek would be there in time to go trick-or-treating with us and with Coach G & M and their kids. My little Booger was going to be a vampire (I finally talked her out of being "Jason" - don't ask) and Kelsey was going as some sort of zombie cheerleader (she actually thought she was too old to trick or treat but I finally talked her into being my nine year old little girl for one more year! Who stops trick-or-treating at nine???) Luckily Derek made it in time so we met up with Grandison and Mark at this townhome complex.

Let me first stay that Coach G's son, Matthew, and my Booger, became the best of buddies when they first met a few weeks ago. They have both been very excited about being able to spend Halloween together -- until poor Matthew saw his now spooky little friend! Rylee's face was white with blacked out eyes, she was wearing her vampire teeth the entire time and had the fake blood she insisted on dripping down her mouth. Needless to say, he stayed 3 feet away from her the entire time and said "that doesn't look like Rylee . . ." Yeah, my Rylee is a maverick.

The next day, Coach G, Coach S and I planned on meeting up for a swim. My first ocean swim in well over 10 years. Actually, I don't think I've ever truly swam in the ocean. But in recent years, my fear of sharks has kept me from even going past my ankles. I won't let my kids go past their ankles either!! I have no idea why I'm so fearful of sharks. It's not like anything traumatic has happened to me. But, it's gotten so bad that the last time I tried going to the beach with the kids, I had a complete panic attack. They were wading ankle deep in the water and I freaked out and made everyone pack up and go home. I know. Wacky. Anyway, to say that I was scared about going swimming in Panama City was a complete and total understatement.

When I first saw Grandison on the beach I told her that I was completely scared and freaked out. She told me that she was going to tell me the same thing she told her 5 year old son. Apparently, Matthew had a terrible dream that involved sharks attacking his Mommy and was completely freaked out about Grandison swimming in the ocean. She told him "Sharks swim in the ocean and we're swimming in the gulf" Okay, I can be five and believe that, right? Right?!? Um, no, I can't but I was going to try. Right before we started our swim, Grandison said, "okay, now really, let's swim together -- because of the sharks" Som just nodded his approval and off we went -- as I was silently FREAKING OUT!!!! Every time I would take a breath to the right I would see this large expanse of ocean in front of me and I'd start to panic. Then I started thinking that perhaps Grandison's son was having a premonition and not a dream and now I was swimming next to a piece of shark bait! Then I started thinking about the scene from Jaws and kept thinking something was just about to bite my toes. Then I started to imagine what a shark would look like slithering through the water. Then I told myself to calm the f&$% down!!!! I focused on my stroke and my breathing and told myself to have faith. Have faith that I was supposed to be here and that everything would be fine. And, suddenly, I really did calm down. Not entirely, but enough to get through the swim. I think I'm almost as proud of myself for that swim as I am for the entire Ironman. I know my kids are -- on the way home my little one told me that she knew I was scared but she thought I was very, very brave. I smiled and my heart melted.

Okay, that's all for now. Tomorrow maybe I'll even put out some details on the race!!

Off to Panama City . . .

2007-10-30T19:09:00.000-05:00

"It is a comforting moment when we suddenly realize that our commitment to race, to participate in something so important to us - our dream - will be actualized. We have made it to the starting line. In this moment, the probability that we will do the event reaches 100 percent. The hundreds of things that can go wrong leading up to an Ironman have been cleverly averted, and the thousands of things required to get to the start are all now officially history."

We are ready, ladies.
Let's go do an Ironman!

Much love to all . . . and I'll see you when I hobble back home!

Random running thoughts . . .

2007-10-28T22:37:00.000-05:00

I don't like seeing people drive around stuffing fast food into their mouths. You know the ones with the mayo dripping down their chin and they're still chewing that big bite of burger as they're loading a handful of fries into their mouth? I know. I shouldn't be bothered by this. To each his own. But, for some reason, it irks me. Anyway, Big Dog and I decided on our run today that we want a healthy alternative so we came up with the Ironman Happy Meal: I'll take a Kenyan with a side of Michael Phelps. And, sure, go ahead and supersize that to include the Lance Armstrong for an extra 50 cents. Oh, and of course it comes with a toy: every meal comes with one of Carmen's clear wetsuits.

Yes, this is the crap that Derek and I come up with while we're running. Clearly the closer I get to the Ironman, the wackier I become.

2007-10-23T20:50:00.000-05:00

I am nervous. Anxious. Excited. Scared.

I know I have trained but my head is filled with so much self-doubt. So, I've been spending much of time avoiding any thought of Ironman. I have not put together my packing list. I haven't checked out all of the course information. No non-TriGirl blog reading. Nothing. I'm tapering, focusing on other family stuff, and just waiting for my turn on the IM roller coaster. I have allowed myself until Saturday to simply chill out and get in the required training. Then I will officially move into freak out mode. In the meantime, the one thing I have let myself do is to try to do some mental training for the long-ass day of IM. So, here are some of the good tips I've gathered:

Commit to the Battle Before it Begins!

You must make the decision to invest yourself emotionally 100% to your preparation. If you only give 80%, then 20% of you is saying it's okay to not be prepared. Make an individual commitment to be strong mentally!

Self-Talk:

You influence the way you feel by the way you think.
Negative self-talk leads to negative emotions, anxiety and wasted energy;
Practice positive, confidence building self-talk in training! "I feel good! I feel strong! I love how it feels to run hard!" (hahahaha! I'm laughing even as I'm writing that!)

Never use CAN'T!

Think energetically even when you're hurting!!

Try not to complain about meaningless stuff that is not under your control. It will drain you.

Distance Concentration:

Long distance races produce physical fatigue, but even more mental fatigue because of the concentration required.

Concentration will resemble a funnel. Broad early in race, narrow late in the race. Early in the race remind yourself to relax. Conserve energy!

Work to focus in the PRESENT!! Can't be worrying about how you "might" feel in 5 kilometers based on how you feel now. You "might" feel better or you "might" feel worse.

Learn to recognize when you're losing focus. Negative self-talk is the surest sign! Work to re-focus!

Use Positive Mental Imagery:

"Winners see what they want to happen in their imagery. Losers see what they are afraid "might" happen in their imagery." (Sorry to include a quote with the word 'loser' -- it's such an awful word!! Big Dog and I have this long-standing joke where I do crappy in a race or something and I say "I'm a loser" and he always jokingly responds, "No, baby, you're not a loser. You tried and failed. You're a failure." Yeah, we've got a messed up sense of humor!! Okay, now I'm totally off-topic. Back to this mental training thing -- dammit, look how quickly I already screwed up that whole "concentration" and "focus" thing. I'm such a loser! Argh! Now I'm screwing up that "self-talk" section! Man, I suck at this. ;-)

Develop feeling in your imagery. Try to feel yourself running smooth, fast and effortless.

Negative images will create negative emotions. Visualize yourself overcoming difficult points in a race, especially late in the race.

TRUST

Trust in your preparation!

When you trust your training you are free to let the race happen instead of forcing it to happen.

Trust=Confidence!!

Tell Yourself Each DAY . . .

I will not surrender.
I will not turn against myself when things get tough.
I will be excited about this race.

Hopefully, soon, I will be able to put together some type of inspirational and thoughtful blog that is worth reading. Until then . . . well, I'm just going to continue to ignore the fact that I'm going to get a major ass-whooping in 10 short days. YUMMY!

18 Miles is a LOOOOOONG Way to Run . . .

2007-09-23T09:54:00.000-05:00

The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy...It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed."
- Jacqueline Gareau, 1980 Boston Marathon champ

Yesterday I hit my running PR of 18 miles. Dear God, that's a long way. I've never run a marathon before (I'm saving that yummy joy for the end of the Ironman) and although 18 miles is only 3 miles longer than I ran a few weeks ago or a mere 5 miles longer than the run in a 1/2 IM, it seemed like it took DAYS to complete!!

The heat may have had a little something to do with the sheer crappiness of it. I didn't want to get to WC for the ride/run until 9 a.m. because I wanted one day that Booger could wake up and jump in my bed and snuggle for a bit. So, I actually ended up soaking up my time with her for a little too long and we didn't get started on our 30 mile ride until close to 10:00 a.m. -- which also meant that we were taking off for our run at noon. In 90+ degree heat and wicked humiditiy. But at least there was cloud cover. Until about 1:30. At the hottest part of the day, the skies cleared up and we were blessed with full blazing sunshine for the rest of our run. UGH.

It took everything I had not to call it quits. There was one point that I told Big Dog, "You know, when people refer to cars, they say, 'is your car running' or 'I've left my car running'. So, according to this logic, it seems that we should be able to go 18 miles in the car and still consider it 'running'. Yes? No, I didn't think so either. Dammit."

Anyway, it's over. Thank God. Next week's long workout: 100 miles on the bike. Woohoo! Two weeks from now: 30 mile ride/20 mile trail run. Dear God, what did I get myself into?

Heart of Virginia . . .

2007-09-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I did my first official century ride. But, this post really isn't too much about me because I was much more impressed with my riding partner. See, I had been mulling over doing this century ride because I had never officially done one before. And, even more than that, if I was going to ride with the TriGirls that day, I would have had to wake at 4:45 to make it to our rendevous spot which is 45-50 minutes from my house. If I rode the Heart of Virginia Century, I could sleep until 6:45. The only problem was I didn't want to ride alone. So, on Friday evening I almost jokingly asked my awesome husband, Derek aka Big Dog, if he wanted to ride the metric century the next day. I figured this way I would have compnay for at least part of the ride. Derek's only been on the bike once in the last month and the most he's ever ridden has been 72 miles -- given the fact I was only giving him one day's notice, I thought the metric would prove to be the perfect challenge. The Big Dog thought differently. He said, "Hell no I'm not doing the metric. If I'm going out there, I'm riding the whole thing." Well, I questioned whether that would prove to be the best idea, but I believe in him so I said "awesome!".

We planned to stay together the entire ride. I'm a little faster than him, but we really wanted to share the whole experience together and this was supposed to be ridden at an "easy pace" for me. The morning of the race was pretty cool and the skies looked a little dark, but there were no storms overhead so we loaded the car and headed out. About a mile from the house, Derek said he forgot his jacket. But, he didn't think it would be a problem so he opted not to turn back for it. As soon as we got to the race site, the skies opened up and the rain began to fall. Derek was bummed that he hadn't turned back for his jacket.

The race was a "show and go" meaning you could show up within a certain window of time and just take off when you were ready. We were supposed to "show and go" between 7-8 a.m. But, I wasn't too worried about making it through the 100 miles before the 5pm cut off so we started our ride closer to 8:45. About 6 miles into the ride, Derek got a flat tire. I said, "No worries. That's actually kind of good. Let me change it so I can get the experience!" So, I got a hand's on tire changing lesson. While we were there, the SAG vehicle pulled in and they pumped Derek's tire and gave him a spare tube just in case he got another flat on the course. After 25-30 minutes we were back on the road. For all of 1 minute before Derek realized his front tire was also flat. Seriously??? This time Derek took charge of the changing and changed out the tire in about 15 minutes. The SAG vehicle never had time to pull away so again, they pumped Derek's front tire and offered him another tube -- just in case. The SAG crew was great but before the guy left he said, "you know, at this point you probably won't be able to get the full 100 in today." WHAT?!? Okay, I understand that we were the last century riders to take off on the ride and that it was now close to 10:00 a.m. and we had only gone 6 miles, but there was no way we were not doing 100 miles!

Derek and I took off and despite the pressure I felt from the SAG guy to pick up the pace, I tried to hold back so that we could ride together the entire day. Everything was going really well until mile 15 when Derek called out that he had another flat. You've got to flippin' kidding me???? At this point, I started to doubt that Derek's bike was going to carry him through this ride. It seemed that entirely new tires were in order and that was something that we just didn't have. Internally, we were both cursing up a storm, but outwardly we were trying to stay calm so that we didn't worry or take away from the other's experience. Derek thoroughly checked his tire and found a large metal splinter that had punchtured the tire. We patched the holes with some black electrical tape and put his last tube into action. We agreed that if he got one more flat, he would pull out and would drive to every rest stop to check on me and cheer me on. Off we went again.

We blew past the first two rest stops since we figured we had gotten enough rest spending at least an hour changing tires! Everything was going really well despite the fact we had to fight a CRAZY amount of wind!! I couldn't even get in aero position because the cross wind gusts would come on so strong it was difficult to maintain conrol of my bike. And the headwinds!! Dear God, why is it that you always get a headwind on a kickass hill??

We were about 55 miles into the ride and everything seemed to be looking up. Derek's bike was holding up, we were in a section where the wind had died down and there was only 6 miles until we hit the lunch rest stop. But, as we passed over some railroad tracks I lost one of my water bottles. Derek was behind me so he called out that he'd pick it up. As he stopped his bike and unclipped, wouldn't you know, he broke two screws off the cleat in his shoe!!! Now his cleat was just spinning on the bottom of his shoe. Are you flippin' serious???? How much more bad luck could this poor guy get? Totally not fair! The constant obstacles were almost laughable -- except it really wasn't very funn. I tried to pick up Derek's spirits by telling him that he was providing me with the best training for IMFL that I could ever have! The lesson must be that no matter what happens on your bike or with your gear, determination is what will see you through to the end. Derek managed to make it to the next rest point and took one screw out of his right cleat and put it into his left cleat so that he would at least have two screws in each. This at least enabled him to lock down into his pedals.

We took off on the last leg and I said a small prayer. Well, not really a prayer. I thought "Bring it on MF'rs. Do what you've gotta do, but we're finishing this ride even if he has to run his bike in Flintstone style with bare feet and two flat tires." Yeah, I guess that really doesn't qualify as a prayer.

Either way, my mojo must have scared the riding Gremlins because the rest of the ride went off without a hitch. There was one sketchy dog moment -- actually the dog wasn't really scary but a rider had been bitten pretty badly earlier in the day by a loose dog and I was a little freaked out by it. When I saw another dog on the course, I asked Derek to ride ahead and shoo it away. He rode by it and said "Go away, Cujo." Calling the dog Cujo didn't really help ease my nerves.

In the last 10 to 15 miles of the ride, Derek was getting pretty tired -- as he should have been. He said he felt he only had a little more left in him -- but he kept on going. I was absolutely blown away by him. I mean, I've been training for almost a year to ride this distance. By now, I SHOULD be able to ride 100 miles. Derek was doing it out of pure will and determination. I was in complete awe of his perserverence. I don't think I could have done it if I were him. Actually, I don't think I would have even tried. I would have thought, "I could never do that" without even giving it a shot. When we rode into the parking lot -- having finished the entire 100 miles (take that SAG guy!) I was so proud of Derek I almost cried!! Yeah, I'm glad I got my PR and a century under my belt, but even more so, I'm glad I got to do this with my guy. If you didn't know already, he's pretty damn awesome.

Congrats Big Dog! I love you . . .

Patriot Race Report

2007-09-10T07:57:00.000-05:00

Well, the "training" Half IM is done and to be quite honest, I'm pretty pleased. Going into this race was very different for me than Eagleman. Prior to Eagleman, I had a countdown going, I was nervous and I obsessed about my plan for each discipline. When it came to race day, I was a nervous wreck, my race plan went out the window, I did everything I shouldn't have done and my extreme GI issues during the run reflected my lack of dedication to my plan.

For Patriot, I was totally calm going into it. I mean, so calm that I kept thinking "what's my training this weekend?" and then I'd remember, "oh yeah, I'm doing that 1/2". I think it had something to do with how busy I've been. I've just been more focused on getting into the swing of things with all 4 kids starting school -- Booger just beginning Kindergarten and my oldest -- we'll call him Mr. Awesome (because that's what he thinks he is!) -- starting his Senior year in High School. In addition to that, coaching our competition cheer squad has started up again and taken up a good deal of my free time and, oh, there's that pesky part-time job that rears its ugly head now and again, too. So, anyway, I've been surviving day-to-day and simply looking at what workout was on the calendar that day and never looking ahead. So, going into Patriot, I was totally relaxed, calm and looking at it as simply another training day.

Another thing about Patriot was that I wasn't "racing". My goal for this race was to finish it feeling like I could do it again. I wanted to pace myself, follow my plan and finish feeling strong. And, suprisingly, I did it! It was difficult at times. For example, during the bike, I usually pedal hard and try to catch whoever is in front of me. My goal is to pass as many people as possible without ever being passed myself. During the run it's a completely different story. I typically go out strong and allow myself no more than 15 seconds at every water stop -- if it's a 10k or shorter, no stops are allowed at all (I adopted this stupid plan because running is my weakest discipline and I'm always getting passed by what seems like thousands of people -- I figured I couldn't afford to lose any time stopping at the water stops). Well, this plan usually means that my legs are very tired when I get off my bike and I usually completely die and need to begin doing A LOT of walking somewhere around mile 8 of the run. I was determined not to let that happen at Patriot. I would let people pass me on the bike and I would run the entire run while allowing myself to fully walk and reassess myself through every water stop.

As far as details,

THE SWIM:

We found out race morning that the race was wetsuit legal. Yay! I got to use my "floatie"! I wasn't particularly worried about the swim. My plan for the swim was simply to imagine that I was swimming in water that could potentially have sharks in it. I know -- kind of dumb since I knew there weren't really sharks but I'm trying to mentally prepare for IMFL! :D Anyway, I was just going to swim from buoy to buoy as comfortably as possible. All was going well until the last turn into the finish. As soon as I turned back toward the shore, I couldn't find the buoys because the sun was shining directly into my eyes. Oh, well, since I was in the last wave, I figured I'd just follow the small cluster of swimmers ahead of me. BIG mistake. A short while later, I stopped and wanted to really get my bearings and locate a buoy to site off of. I took a minute to breaststroke and look around. I spotted the orange buoys about 100 meters to my right. Dammit. I was totally off course. But as I looked around, I realized most everyone else was too! I spotted lots of people cutting a diagnoal path back toward where the swim finish was. I figure it took me about 200 meters off course. I finished in 39:15 so this wasn't bad for a 1.4ish mile swim. After the race, Derek told me almost everyone was off course. The spectators thought it was because of the current until some Elites came out of the water cursing and complaining about how crappy the markers were. I didn't think it was the markings but rather the sunlight but, whatever, I'm not "Elite" so I really didn't care either way.

T1:

Uh, sucky. You have to run about 1/2 a mile before you even get into transition. Over pokey rocks that they tried to mask with 1/8 in think carpeting. Ouch.

BIKE:

The bike was good except for the course. I really didn't enjoy the road conditions on the course. I lost one water bottle before I even made it out of the Jamestown parking lot!! But I anticipated I would lose a bottle (or two!) because of the bumpy course, so I packed 3 bottles and filled my Profile. Good thing because I came back with 1 completely empty water bottle and and empty Profile, too! But, I managed to hold back and pace myself really well on the bike. I wanted to maintain a 19-20 mph pace and I came pretty close. I finished the 58 mile course in 3:01 -- which, if I'm calculating right is about 19.23 mph. The only problem was that I didn't eat as much as I should have on the bike. This usually isn't a problem for me, but for some reason I just couldn't choke down my bagel and fig newtons. I was a little concerned for the run, but I had taken 4 gels during the bike and drank a full bottle of Sustained Energy so I was hoping I could hang on.

T2:

T2 is typically my "vacation" transition. I have no idea why, but I just seem to take FOREVER!! And this time was no exception. I took 3+ minutes and ranked 11th out of 13 finishers in my T2 time. What the hell do I do that takes so long??? I don't know. Maybe it's the massage, nap and mani & pedi that I get while I'm in there. ;D

RUN:

The run was damn HOT! I would guess it was in the low 90's but being on the asphalt with the cars seemed like the radiated heat temp was closer to 100. And for all but 2 miles there was virtually no shade whatsoever. But, despite all of this, my legs felt good -- really, really, good. So good that wanted to pick up the pace quite a bit. But, I reminded myself of my goal: finish this race like you could do it again. This was my one opportunity to really "practice" for IMFL so I took advantage of it. My goal was to run a 6mph pace and then walk through every water stop while I assessed how my body was feeling. The water stops were my time to give myself a "tune up" to prepare for the next mile. This worked really well for me. I managed to keep my pace while running and I spent about a minute walking through each water stop. While I was there I would drink water, drink some of my concentrated Sustained Energy, pack my sports bra full of ice, douse my head with cold water and take an Endurolyte if I felt I needed it. My final run time of 2:23 reflected a perfect balance of 6mph pacing and 45sec-1 min. water stops. I was happy that I felt strong enough to run the entire time between each water stop and when I came into the finish, I honestly felt like I could keep going.

Final race time was 6:14 which was 5th in my age group and only 21 seconds off of of 4th -- but a whole 45 minutes off of Speedy TG Liz's time of 5:32!! Damn, that girl can kick some ass!!! But, I felt GREAT when I was done!! And, I really am starting to believe I might be able to pull off this whole IMFL thing!

Highlights of the race:

**All the TriGirls. I just love being a TriGirl and racing with everyone. We are THE BEST team out there at every, single race!

**GRANDISON being out on the course again! God, it was nice to have her back out there giving encouragement!!!

**Carmen -- she just inspires me in so many ways!

**Liz taking first in our age group. So proud of her! I swear I'm calling sponsors to pick her up. She's amazing!!

********And, Derek, of course, being there as my number one supporter!! I cannot stress enough how much he does for me. There's no way I could do this without him! Love that guy so much!
!!!
All in all, a great race!! Up next, IMFL - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

There's no place like home . . .

2007-09-06T11:53:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I have to admit, this adventure seems like I'm caught in this whirlwind. I'm just twisting and turning, going along for the ride with my eyes squeezed tightly shut. Before I even have time to process each step I'm taking toward IMFL, I'm taking another giant leap. So why do I still feel like I'm going to come up short???

For example, last weekend my 30 mile ride/15 mile run was the longest I've gone thus far. The almost 90 miles in 110 degree weather while getting "special" 1-on-1 attention from Coach B the week before was the farthest (and hardest!) ride I've ever done. And now, here I am, staring another 1/2 Ironman in the face and I'm thinking "Whatever. It's just another training day." WHAT?!?! That is proof that I've gone mental. IT. IS. A. HALF. FLIPPIN' IRONMAN!! But that's my point. I'm just here for the ride. I go when they say go and I stop when they say stop. It feels almost overwhelming sometimes.

Don't get me wrong. I love this adventure. But, some days, when I'm thinking "am I really doing enough", "will I be ready?", or the worst "what if I can't finish", I think of my former life with lazy Saturdays, no Ironman worries or self doubt and I find myself clicking my heels and saying "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home . . ."

But, here I am. Still on this ride. And while I love so many parts of it, I feel the need to finally make it down that IM finisher's chute so that I can take a moment -- a minute to breathe and simply think and not "do".

Luckily, one thing this IM training has taught me, is that there are times that you will be in pain, that you will feel like sitting down and giving up, but those times will pass and you will get your second wind. All you need to do is hang in there and believe in yourself.

Let's hope that happens before Saturday's Half-IM.

Interesting Race in Loo-Ray . . .

2007-08-19T17:42:00.001-05:00

Our departure for the Luray Int'l Tri on Friday was pretty dreary. I was EXHAUSTED from getting a total of about 3 hours sleep on Thursday night -- which is when we had one of the worst thunderstorm in history and Booger was throwing up all night. Luckily by Friday morning, she seemed to have kicked whatever it was that was ailing her so we were off by Friday afternoon.

We rented this cute little cabin in Luray that was about 5 minutes from the race site. I was really looking forward to spending some quiet time with the kids and the cabin was the perfect place for that. Unfortunately, though, it only had a small a/c wall unit and the bedroom we were sleeping in didn't receive much of the air that it eeked out. So. the night before the tri I, again, got about 4 hours of sleep. By the time I woke up Saturday morning, to be honest, I didn't give a crap about the triathlon. I simply wanted to get it over with so I could go back home and get some sleep!!!

I sludged out of bed and into my tri-suit and sat there trying to get a coffee high while Derek loaded my bike. By the time we got to the race site, I was still feeling like I was sleep-walking. To make matters worse, it was also the first day of my "Cybil week" (you know the one? we all have it once a month? Yeah, TMI, sorry.) Anyway, at that point I resigned myself to treating the day like a regular training day. I was going to clock the miles, but not "race" so to speak. I was just so damn tired!!

During the swim, I managed to shake off a little of my uber-negative mojo but I was still not in the race groove. When I got out, I didn't even need to look at my watch to tell my swim time wasn't very good. And, when I looked at Derek he confirmed it. Without me having to say a word, he simply shouted out "Don't worry! It wasn't your best time. You'll get 'em on the bike!" As it turned out my swim time was 33:07 -- which is not horrible but was pretty disappointing considering I swam a 1500 in 26:13 at the Charlottesville Tri 3 weeks ago.

In transition I added to my usual clumsy attempts at getting myself together by messing with my helmet. For some reason it was completely cinching my head!! I kept trying to jam it onto my head and it just didn't fit right. I pulled my hair down to make sure it wasn't stuck inside the helmet. I tried to loosen the grip thing in the back. I checked to make sure I wasn't putting it on backwards (thank GOD that wasn't the problem!!) In the end I couldn't figure it out so after almost 3 minutes I just jammed my big ol' head into it and took off. I have a bruise on my forehead now.

The bike was nice and had some quick downhills. We were on what I call a "lollipop course". You go up the stem, make a loop and then ride back down the stem. The only difference here is that you make two loops around the top of the lollipop. I was so NOT in race mode that somewhere around mile 8-10 I pulled over to see if a rider who had a flat needed help. He yelled at me. What is it with guys yelling at girls who ask if they need help?? Anyway, I'm glad he yelled at me 'cause it pissed me off. And being pissed woke me up and got my adreneline going. And that's is apparently what I need to find my race mojo. From that point on, I was in race mode (don't worry -- I know that there's no real noticible difference in my kicking into "race mode" -- but it does mean that I stopped thinking I was going to spend the whole ride chatting with the cows and enjoying the scenery!!)

By the end of the race, I was pretty happy with the overall results. My swim wasn't great, my bike time was hurt by my lack of dedication during the first 8 miles or so but my run time was the best it's ever been in an Olympic tri. And the run is where I hurt the most so that in itself was a happy little accomplishment for me!! Overall, I placed 6th in my age group and got my ass thoroughly kicked by the first 2 in my age group!! They finished 30 minutes ahead of me and one had a crazy 10k time of 43 or something like that!! They were some kick-ass athletes and I didn't mind one bit that they stomped on me!!

I really loved watching some of the other TriGirls race. That was the one thing that I liked about the double loop. I managed to see everyone on the run and/or bike and it was fun to check in with eachother. Megan came through like a rock star and Zona was amazing on her bike -- especially since she was riding a mtn. bike!!

At the end of the race, I lazed under a tree with Derek and the girls and then went back to the cabin to take a really WONDERFUL nap!! Next up . . . Patriot's 1/2. Gulp.

Virginia is now my home . . .

2007-08-10T21:40:00.000-05:00

After six+ years of living in Virginia, I have now come to fully accept -- and appreciate -- Virginia as my home. I am orginally from Southern California and have always thought I'd always miss being a So. Cal girl. But, after my recent trip to California, I have to admit, I really missed "home". I missed the ability to hydrate on the humidity during runs. And the squishy softness of the air. I know that sounds crazy, but the dry Cali air actually bugged me. When I got off the plane in Virginia, I actually felt like Virginia was giving me a big ol' humidity hug. Go figure!

"Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough." ~Arthur Freed

So, this post will have nothing to do with training. I really must tell you about an amazing and uplifting little event that happened on our trip. Well, actually it was on the trip home. The area where my in-laws live is on the eastern side of northern California. There are no airports within 2 hours of their house so getting there is always a VERY long travel day. When we left, we had to drive 2 hours to get to the train station and then take an hour and a half ride on the San Franciso metro train to get to the San Francisco Airport.

We were travelling with the 2 younger ones, 2 large suitcases, 2 small suitcases, a car seat and a computer bag. The computer bag was acting as my "purse" and contained 2 laptops, both cell phones and our check book. So, after our long ride, we pull into the San Francisco station, get off the train and make our way up to the airport check-in area. The train continues on to its next destination --- with our computer bag which we happened to forget. Dammit.

We have to check in and board our plane so we are completely unable to try to track down the bag. Derek locates a security guy who states he will ride his bike down to the next train stop to see if he can find it (nice guy!!!) but he also said that many "shady" people take the train system so we should not hold out hope in recovering our belongings.

So, we were bummed -- really, really bummed. And then, the zipper on one of our suitcases busts a big six inch hole. When I asked the Delta agent if they had tape, her response was "I've got to get your luggage down there. Wish it luck." I was a wee bit emotion but I didn't cry. Derek and I refocus ourselves by reminding eachother to count our blessings instead of focusing on any materialistic losses or grumpy airline agents. We get on the plane and land in Atlanta ahead of time. Yay! Things are looking up. Well, almost. We proceed to sit on the runway for over an hour because they cannot navigate the ten planes on the ground to open gates. Things are looking a little bleak again. Running through the airport with kids is NOT fun. But, no worries. The flight attendants make an announcement that there are many planes having the same difficulty and that we will not miss our connections since all other flights are aware of the problem and will hold the gates open. Whew!

As trusting as I try to be, we still high-tail it off the plane and literally run the entire way to our next plane. Cute little Booger kicked butt scurrying through the airport!! We almost get to our gate when a Delta agent calls out and says that all flights have left. Uh, what? She repeats that all planes have departed. Um, no, it's 10:30 p.m., we've been travelling for 12 hours, we lost our friggin' computers and the lady on the plane said they'd still be here!!! Through gritten teeth, I try to politely ask the nice lady what she suggests we do. She said they have booked us on a flight the following morning and to get comfortable. I'm starting to get emotional again -- but, again, I don't cry.

Derek and I visit the Delta counter with all of the other people to see what to do. Delta, realizing their error, simply begins passing out vouchers for hotels and meals. Okay, we can do this. We'll just get some food, go to our hotel, have a pigout on the hotel bed and have a little sleepover. The only thing we need is food and Booger's car seat.

Food is first since the vouchers are only good in the airport. Hmmmm. Everything is dark. Oh, that would be because the vouchers are only good until 11pm -- which is when the food area closes. Wish we would have known that when they gave us our vouchers at 10:50. But wait, there is a nice Chinese gentleman waiving us toward his restaurant. He asks what we want and says he will stay open a little late to make sure we have food to eat. I love him.

We go down to the luggage center and ask what we can do to get to our luggage. We are told that all luggage will be automatically directed to our morning flight. Um, okay, but what if we need something? Well, that's easy. Simply fill out the form, turn it in and they can bring out our luggage in approximately 2-3 hours. Deep breath. That's okay, I'm still riding the high from the nice Chinese man (and Booger's almost out of her car seat), so I simply tell Booger that she'll have to ride in the shuttle like a big girl. So we're off to the shuttle that takes us to our hotel.

We get outside and, oooh, look, there are only about 80 other people waiting for the same shuttle. When the shuttle pulls in people literally climb all over eachother like they're trying to get the last two seats on Noah's flippin' Arc!!! I pull the girls back and explain that it's not okay to behave like that and we will be rewarded for our patience. They look at me like I've lost my mind. I'm getting emotional again and fight not to cry.

Okay, so we make it to the hotel. We open all of our Chinese food and realize we've forgotten forks. Now, we have no clothes, no toothbrushes and no soap but for some reason the lack of forks seems to put us over the edge. We simply stand there staring into the styrofoam containers. Hmmm. Okay, girls, if we were on Survivor how would we solve this problem? All of the sudden we were cracking up and devising new ingenious ways to eat our food! The next thing you know, we hit the vending machines and pigged out on Chinese food, sodas and candy while watching Shrek 3.

Before bed, we decide we will use the hotel phone to call home and check the answering machine. Maybe the nice police officer in San Francisco has found our bags. We have one message. It is a man. He was on the train with us in San Francisco. He says he is calling from our cell phone and has found our belongings. He says he realizes many people would not do the right thing upon finding items like ours. But he feels like Santa Claus and is returning our belongings to the Lost & Found at the San Francisco Station. He leaves all of the details on how we can retrieve our things. Before he hangs up, he says he hopes he has made our day and that he wishes us the very best for the rest of our trip. I finally begin to cry.

As I lay falling asleep that night, I tell Derek: the men in the Utah mine had a bad day. The people on the bridge that collapsed had a bad day. The day we had? It was full of memories, adventure and was spent with the people I love. My day was simply fantastic!

So now I am home and tomorrow I ride the Patriot course with the Tri Girls. Which is good, because I'm sure there is some repressed frustration in me right now!!

2007-07-31T20:46:00.000-05:00

AHHHHHHHHH!!!! I just realized that in 2 days and it will be less than 3 months til Ironman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's only 12 long workouts. Holy Flippn' Crap!!! Breathe in. . . breathe out. . . breathe in. . .

Charlottesville . . .

2007-07-30T18:47:00.000-05:00

Before the C'ville recap, I have to say that I think I'm back to blogging again! Woohoo, because I really need to purge my training thoughts and I've missed doing so over the last two months!! Yesterday was the official end to the swim season for me -- well, sort of. I am President of a swim team that has over 175 kids. Managing the team, coaches, parents, etc. over the past few months has just about killed me -- and my "tri-desire". It's not that I don't still love training, it's just that running the swim team has taken so much out of me that I've just been clocking the training hours instead of enjoying my training time. And, my kids are finally willing to take me off the "Worst Mommy of the Year" list since I actually made them dinner the other night!! So, yesterday's triathlon success was really great for me -- both mentally and physically!

So now to the race report:

Total time: 2:51.57 (4th in age group; 22nd overall/females)
Swim: 26:13 (4th in age group; 17 overall females)
Bike: 1:17.15 (1st in age group; 11 overall/females)
Run: 1:04.20 (6th in age group; 41 overall/females)

First, let me say there were only 9 girls signed up in my age group so I was TOTALLY scared that I'd end up last! Derek kept trying to tell me that at least I'd know I'd be top ten in my age group, but that didn't ease my nerves too much!! :D

Anyway, first off,

Swim: The swim was a double loop in a glassy, calm lake. There could have been a few more buoys since many people seemed to get confused but, all in all, it was a great swim. I managed to stay more on course than I usually do (except for the minor detour into the lily pads and reeds!) Also, apparently, with the double loop, there were quite a few people who decided to cut their swim short!! Derek and Melissa were watching the race and saw a few people come in after only one loop!!! Can you imagine?!? One guy even got out, hung on the beach for a minute (I guess trying to make his time look a bit more realistic) and then crossed the timing mat when he saw others in his age group coming out of the water. Honestly, how on earth can you call yourself a triathlete if you choose to cheat? I mean, really, if you're already choosing to lie, why don't you just not show up at all and then tell everyone you won. Losers. Anyway, I had a much better swim time than I anticipated since I've only spent 1 day in the pool since Eagleman. And, to be honest, I only spent a handful of days in the pool before Eagleman. My swim training is severely lacking but I'm re-energized and hope to be more dedicated in my efforts.

Bike: The bike was flipping AWESOME!!!! I was a bit apprehensive prior to the race because I know the C'ville Tri Club has some kick-ass athletes who really know how to ride the hills. I tend to be a pretty good hill rider so I do better on a hilly course but as I told my friend Jenn, "the C'ville Tri Club laughs in the face of my measly hill climbing ability!" I mean, c'mon, they train in the Blue Ridge all the time!! And, let's face it, I'm an okay swimmer but not a great runner -- so, really, the bike is the only area where I feel I can even try to be somewhat competitive. If it was a hilly course in Richmond, then maybe I'd have some kind of advantage, but in C'ville, I was definitely at a disadvantage!! Especially since I didn't know the course at all! In trasition I spoke to one girl who had raced the course last year and she told me that there were some decent hills but that there were no sharp turns or bad road conditions and that the race crew was really good about pointing out turns/hazards on the course. I figured I would just trust this girl's information and let it fly on the bike. As it turned out, there were a few tight turns where I feathered the brakes and got a bit skittish since I didn't know what was ahead but I felt pretty good when I was coming into the final stretch of the bike. When I entered transition I saw Derek and he looked awfully excited. I thought, "Aww, how sweet!! He knows how nervous I am about coming in last so he's really putting all he has into cheering me on!" Then as I came out of transition he yelled, "Hey, you're second!!! There's only one girl ahead of you in your age group!!" I just nodded as I thought, "What the heck is that crazy man talking about??" Then when I realized what he said, I thought "Oh crap! I'm not a good runner!! How am I supposed to hold anyone off in the run?"

Run: This was a hilly, rooty, rocky course and it was definitely challenging. I think I left it all on the bike so I had very little to give the hills of this run. At about mile 1, I saw one woman in my age group pass me. Alright, that's okay. Third's good. Really good. Then mile 2.5 came on and so did a big-ass hill! I walked. And up ran another girl in my age group. Damn. I watched her go and as I picked it up to a run again, I decided I was going to try to really push it from that point but it was too late. Holding off someone is one thing. Catching them is entirely different. As it turns out, I came in 4th and less than 4 minutes behind the 3rd place finisher. Bummer.

You know, I'm not so upset about coming in 4th -- I'm upset that I never believed I could come in above 9th. And then after I was told I was 2nd, I didn't think I could ever actually come in 2nd -- or 3rd. And since I didn't think I could do it, I didn't really try for it. I've always said that one time I want to finish a triathlon feeling really spent. You know, one of those people who pukes because they left everything out on the course. But, there's always some excuse that keeps me from really pushing it. Maybe because I'm scared of the disappointment of trying and then failing anyway. Or maybe it's because I was never an athelete in school and I still don't really think of myself as an "athlete". A couple weeks ago someone saw my license plate and asked me if I was a triathlete and do you know what my answer was? "Well no. I do triathlons but I wouldn't call myself a triathlete." I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I really need to work on crushing those negative thoughts. Logically I know it does me no good but it's still difficult to ignore. ARGH!

Anyway, the course was beautiful, the weather held out and the best part? I LOVE racing with the TriGirls (and Ed!). It's just so nice to run through the finish line to your "family". Or to be the "family" waiting there for your teammates to arrive. I love sharing in other people's accomplishments. Like Carmen. Thinking about her accomplishment in the swim yesterday still brings tears to my eyes today. She's a rock star. And Mary. She didn't tell anyone she was coming to the tri yesterday because she wasn't sure she'd show up! Not only did she show up, but she did a fantastic job!!! Derek was absolutely blown away by her performance and dedication. And, Lynn. Really, does anyone look happier when they cross a finish line? She really looks like she just had the time of her life!! And Susie. You know, being passed feels so much better when she passes you and yells out "Hey! You're hot!"

It was a great day!!

Yes, I'm still alive . . .

2007-07-12T20:22:00.000-05:00

I was reminded today by my fave "Fave" that it has been exactly one month since my last post. What the heck?? Clearly I haven't been that busy have I???? Well, yes. Unfortunately, life has been so busy that I'm struggling with keeping all of my workouts on track. The best thing I ever did was to shout loud and clear at the beginning of this year that this was the "Year of ME". My volunteer obligations, part-time job and everything else was going to take second chair to one year of me following my dreams. But, that is so much easier said than done. I need to learn the art of saying "no"!

On a training note, I've gotten most of it in. But I miss the Tri Girls!!!! I am SOOOOO looking forward to riding with them on Saturday. It is amazing how much your teammates mean to you in your life. I mean, most of my close friends support me, but they really don't understand what I'm doing. To them the idea of 112 miles on a bike is simply a long car ride. Maybe a trip to King's Dominion and back. And the idea of foregoing social gatherings in order to fit in a training session or becauase you have to wake up early to train is downright NUTS!! Thank God for the gals who have bonded on this journey!!! I honestly couldn't do it without you all!!!!

Hope to see so many TG gals on Saturday!!!!! I need a fix!

Goodbye to Eagleman . . .

2007-06-12T22:29:00.000-05:00

It's been 2 days since completing Eagleman and I finally think my thoughts have slowed to the point that I can put the entire ordeal into words. As far as the nitty-gritty, here are my stats:

Total time: 6:08:21.15
Swim: 39:46
T1: 4:46
Bike: 2:57:12 19
T2: 5:17
Run: 2:21:23 10:48 minute mile

All in all, the race was truly amazing! There are so many different, wonderful memories that come to me when I think back about the whole weekend that it's difficult to organize them all into a coherent "race" report.

Derek and I have a saying: "my heart took a picture." We say this when something amazing happens and it strikes our hearts in ways that we know we will never forget. My heart took many pictures this weekend. There was a moment when I saw my girls on the dock of the TriGirl house trying to catch fish and trap crabs with their Daddy. I am a lucky, lucky woman and I will never be able to express how thankful I am to have these wonderful children and this truly breathtaking man in my life.

There was another moment when I was taking some time to myself under a tree in the transition area and watching the TriGirls take a practice swim in the water. For just a second I closed my eyes and breathed in everything around me. How fortunate am I that I am in this place, with these miraculous women? What could I have done to deserve such an abundant amount of happiness in my life?

The morning of the race my heart will forever carry a picture of the TriGirls driving down the road with hoots and hollers as they arrived to pick me up. During the run, I will remember Carmen's smiling face as she told me how strong she felt. I will remember Susie Q's hands raised high in the air as I cheered her along as she passed me. I will remember Jonah's warm smile as I saw her starting out in her run. I will remember hearing my name and getting a renewed sense of energy when I saw Shawn and Karen cheering me on as I started the run myself. I will remember the kiss I got from my little Booger as I was starting out on my bike and the row of high five's I received as I was running down the finisher's chute. And I will always remember with vivid detail the look of love and admiration in my husband's eyes as he leaned down to kiss me and tell me how proud he was of all I had accomplished.

The details of the swim, bike and run are actually rather insignificant to me. Did I do as well as I wanted? No. Did I learn a lot of things to do next time? Yes. But I will forget my times and all of the things I would have done differently and the moments when "my heart took a picture" will be all that remains with me. And, I suppose, that is the real reason I do triathlons -- to remind myself that life is not easy, that pain is temporary and that every moment offers you the opportunity to be thankful for those special people in your life who make it worth the journey.

To all my teammates, who are now my friends, congratulations on reaching your dreams. And to my family, who will always be my love, my life and my inspiration, thank you for helping me reach my dreams and supporting me without fail.

Now, on to the next chapter . . . Ironman Florida.

Fliping out . .

2007-06-06T21:47:00.000-05:00

The 1/2 IM is looming over me. At exactly 7:23 tonight it dawned on me that tomorrow is packing day. Thursday. The day before we leave to go to the 1/2 IM.
HOLY FLIPPIN' SH%T!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have officially moved from channeling my nervous energy into full, ridiculously organized preparation to flat-out crazy, stupid, absent minded, flipping out!!!! I'm more nervous that I'm going to forget something --- like how to swim. Or to bring my bike. Or maybe I'll break my leg walking to check the mail. Or, what if a jelly fish stings my face? Or I can't fix a flat? Or I pass out from the heat during the run? Or I get kidnapped by a massive herd of wild rhino and can't escape fast enough to make it to the race???

Yes. I am now taking up every seat on the crazy train.

I flippin' love water . . .

2007-05-27T20:46:00.000-05:00

Let me repeat myself. I LOVE WATER. And, I'm not talking about swimming.

Allow me to explain: today we rode 75 miles. We started at 9am and expected to be riding for 4-5 hours. Given the fact that we are all intelligent women (and one intelligent man) you would have thought that we would have anticipated just how hot it would be that late in the day. Well, how on Earth could we have known it was going to be 8 MILLION DEGREES (and, no, I am NOT exaggerating -- it was actually 8 million degrees!!!) To make matters worse, when TriGirl Liz and I had about 7-10 miles left, we ran out of water. That's right. We were actually riding in the temperature of Hell with not a drop of liquid to quench our thirst. The sweat dripping down my face tasted like I was made purely of salt. And, that's when my mood went South -- and fast. I was cursing at every car that was passing me simply because they had air conditioning and, most likely, water. One car drove by and they had all these little stuffed bears in the back window and I thought "I hate that stupid car with all those stupid freakin' bears. That's the stupidest freakin' idea I've ever heard of. Stupid damn bears in their stupid damn car. Who would be that stupid?" Clearly, I had instantly morphed into the "bike bitch". The good news is that we eventually made it back and I had packed a case of water in the car. Did I pack it in a cooler with ice? Uh, no. So TG Liz and I were forced to drink hot water and pour hot water over our bodies in a last ditch effort to cool down. I swear to God, hot as it was, I was never so happy to have water. I LOVE water.

The ride, on the other hand, was fantastic. I had never ridden in that much traffic so I was a little freaked at first but, in the end, I was quite proud that I had done it. Poor Derek blew out his tire -- twice! -- and had to hitch a ride to catch up with the rest of the TGirls. It turned out that he had a hole in his actual tire and TriGirl DB had the BRILLIANT idea that he should use a dollar bill to plug the hole so the tube wouldn't push through and blow out again. What a great idea!! Her idea worked and Derek managed to finish the rest of the ride. I got back a little ahead of the main group so I ran to 7-11 and bought all the cold water they had so I could operate as the official SAG wagon. As it turned out, it was a good idea because of lot of the riders had run out of water by the time I caught up with them (again, I LOVE water!)

So, what did I learn from today? Well, 1) I am a bitch when I'm hot and dehydrated; 2) a dollar bill can save a tire; 3) there's a reason people start riding at 5 a.m.; and 4) water is the best damn thing on the planet!!!

Oh, and I guess I owe that teddy bear car an apology. Sorry.

2007-05-14T19:07:00.000-05:00

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.” John Muir

The Blue Ridge ride on Saturday was fantastic!! 70 miles with 6288 of climbing in absolute beauty. I heard a lot of people describing the experience as "awful" or "horrible" but that is certainly not what their faces were saying. I saw smiling, strong, fierce riders showing a tremendous amount of confidence and pride in what they accomplished. This was a difficult and challenging ride but it was simply AMAZING!!
Triathlon can be a lonely sport where you are out there fighting through the pain by yourself. On this ride there was A LOT of alone time! I found that as I was fighting my way up a hill, I would just commit to the journey and take the time to take in my surroundings. I wondered how long it would take the caterpillar on the road to cross it (I also wondered if he was travelling at a faster speed than me!) I listened to the sound of small waterfalls and took in the striking green canopy of the leaves. This was MY time and I spent it thinking about the beauty around me. I didn't think about my to-do list or the week ahead of me. I didn't think about any of the worries that I have at home or my busy schedule. I didn't even worry about Eagleman or Ironman Florida (which is how I've spent most of my free time lately!) When I got to the end of the ride I felt refreshed and re-energized. It was incredibly cleansing and I loved it!

Now, as far as the nitty gritty details, here is how the day progressed:

I woke up at 5 a.m. on Saturday to the sound of thunder. A terrible thunderstorm was overhead and the sky lit up with lightning. I reluctantly put on my bike clothes while Derek packed up the car. The entire time I kept thinking, "this is stupid. There's no way I'm riding in this." I mean, if it was race day, of course, I'd take on any weather challenges. But this was not race day. So Derek and I got in the car and headed out with every intention of having to turn around as soon as we met up with everyone. But, as we were driving, suddenly the sun started to peek through and I realized that we were, indeed, going to do this. I started drinking my coffee.

We got to the Blue Ridge and it was beautiful. Slightly chilly but muggy at the same time. I, of course, was a bundle of nerves. I have no idea why I am nervous for the first 10 minutes that I get on a bike. Anyway, the trip down to Otter Creek was gorgeous. The descents were fast and I managed to stay in my aero bars throughout 90% of them. There were a couple that I had to sit up and grab the brakes, though!!! We also got to ride through the exact tunnel I have put up as one of the pictures. It was very strange because your eyes didn't really get used to the dark and it was impossible to see whether there were potholes ahead or something in the road. It was a little disorienting but was really rather exciting.

The ride back from Otter Creek took a lot longer. But I like to climb so I enjoyed the slow and steady pace. I enjoyed it even more when I crested the final hill and saw Coach M cheering me into the finish. He kept saying how proud he was and I felt more proud of myself than I have in years!! You know, if I haven't mentioned it before, I really like our coaches!!!

After some more riders made their way back in, we all grabbed something to eat under the shade of a tree while we waited for the last riders to make their way back up the treacherous hill. Then it was the long, slow ride back to Richmond. During the ride home, we discovered that we rode almost as far as we were driving to get back home! Now that's very cool -- as are we, I must say!

Holding the snake . . .

2007-05-10T00:49:00.000-05:00

First, no, Carmen -- despite the title of this post it is not a dirty post. :D Those conversations are strictly reserved for road trips up to the Blue Ridge.

Okay, I have this amazing friend Michael who doesn't only march to the beat of a different drummer -- he dances to the soulful harmony of his own personal symphony. Yes, he's very cool. Anyway, we both work as experiential facilitators at this high ropes challenge course in Doswell, VA. Our jobs ask us to help people challenge perceived limitations, conquer fears and embrace life's obstacles. What we ask of ourselves is to have each of our participants walk away with a better understanding of themselves, to recognize the power they have in their lives and to understand that changes in life -- even scary changes -- are good. Change offers opportunity for growth, for understanding and for you to choose different actions or paths that you may not have previously considered. "Choice" can alleviate a lot of the pressure and stress of life.

Many people who come to where we work are very afraid of heights. And, at some point during the day, we are going to ask them to climb and jump from a 40 foot pole. Most of the time, their companies have sent them to us so they feel they "need" to do accomplish this task. In this vain, I want to share a story that Michael tells to participants when they arrive at the course:

Imagine that you have gotten on a bus that is taking you to the zoo. The purpose of the trip is so that you can hold the snakes. Cool, yes? Well, no. Not if you're afraid of snakes. So, today, and every day from now on, I want to invite you to choose what you want to do. Yes, the bus has taken you here. But, it is your choice how you want to handle this. If you want to come out and walk to the entrance of the zoo, that's fine. See how that feels. If that feels alright, perhaps take a step inside the zoo. Hmmm. That wasn't too bad? Okay then, let's look through the window at the snakes. Oooh. Pretty scary. This may be far enough. Let's just sit here and see how we feel for a bit. Well, it's really not too bad now, is it? So, maybe you can just step inside and stand next to the snake. Wow. You're still here. Okay, so now, if you want, and only if YOU want, go ahead and hold the snake. No? That's fine. You have pushed yourself beyond whatever you thought was possible. Oh, you DO want to hold the snake? Great. Either way, the choice is yours. Whatever you choose, you will go home feeling empowered because the first choice, to get on the bus, was the most powerful. You have chosen to face your fear simply by being here. The choices you make now will only help to further your journey. Either way, the path is entirely in your hands.

This story fully encompasses my journey to Ironman. I have gotten on the bus, entered the zoo and am staring at the snake. I am nervous, doubtful and, yes, scared. I imagine Eagleman will take me into the cage and Ironman will ask me to hold the snake in my hands.

I've spent countless hours wondering if I can do it. Just last night, I doubted that I could make it through my 14 mile run. But I allowed myself to have the choice to stop. To cut my run short. And, you know what? I didn't need to. Every time I asked myself "do you really need to stop?" The answer was, "no, I think I can go on a bit more and see how I feel." I did this until suddenly I was done. Holding the snake so to speak. Albeit it is a garden snake -- certainly not the Anaconda that is Ironman!

Either way, I got on the bus.

Cyndi's Top 10 Tri List

2007-05-03T01:19:00.000-05:00

TOP 10 REASONS I LOVE TO TRI:

10. I can eat a cookie without any guilt.
9. I get to see what the world looks like before the sun comes up.
8. My butt looks better in jeans.
7. I can finally pee standing up (albeit on a bike).
6. I know that if I ever had the opportunity to travel into space I could sustain myself for eons solely on PowerBar Green Apple Gel.
5. I can keep up with my kids.
4. I get that super "high" feeling when I pass a guy on my bike.
3. I get to learn humility when that same guy, all his friends and a good chunk of the female racing population passes me on the run.
2. Judging from the countless parts of my body that are commonly sore, I must have more muscles than I realized.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON . . .
1. Tri-Girls -- I am convinced that there will come a day when other racers won't be "surprised" to be beaten by a Tri-Girl -- they'll expect to.

Looking forward to a great Cinco de Mayo weekend where me and my fellow Tri-Girls will spend a weekend of racing, fun and relaxing in Smith Mtn. Okay, I'll admit, that the Tri Girl idea of "relaxing" means a sprint triathlon race followed by an easy 10 mile run but, nevertheless, there will be some point during the weekend where we are actually relaxing!! I picture it happening over a beer or a glass of wine some time Saturday night!! ahhhhh, can't wait . . . . There will be a full report (minus any Super Secret Smith Mtn. Sloshed Stories) upon my return!!

2007-04-26T21:37:00.000-05:00

Okay, first I'm going to take a little seque away from training news:

Today I registered Booger for Kindergarten. As I watched her going through her Kindergarten testing I was struck by two things: one, my little girl -- my last, little, sweet baby is growing up. I could not be happier and sadder at the same time. Thank God I have Tri-Girls to help me look forward to all the things in my future instead of woefully looking at how the days of the past are going by too quickly.

The second thing I was struck with was who makes up these Kindergarten tests? My Booger is sweet, caring, shares with others, has a fantastic sense of humor and is genuinely KIND. I could care less if she knows the sound of every letter of the alphabet or if she can count to 100. I mean, really, this lady was pointing to the bottom of her face in some kind of an attempt to get Booger to recognize that she was pointing to her "jaw". She asked Booger if she knew what it was and Booger looked at her like she was nuts. I'm sure she was thinking, "Uh, yeah, crazy lady, that's your face." It was quite comical! She has the rest of her life to learn the "little" things in life -- she already has a fantastic head start on the most important things.

Let me give you an example: today we were driving to registration. Derek was in another car since he had to go to work right after we were done. Being the competitive people we are, we try to beat eachother to any location if we happen to be driving separately. Now, we don't break the speed limit and we would never admit that we're really "racing" eachother, but there is a quiet sense of satisfaction for the one who arrives first. (Yes, we know we're weird -- but it works!) Anyway, as I'm pulling down the main road to the school I see Derek trying to make a fast break in front of me from a side street. I say to my little Booger, "Look at Daddy! He's trying to beat us! But he can't beat us 'cause we're too fast!" She replies, "Yeah! He lost!" Being the super-mature person I am I say, "Yeah, he lost! He's a looooooser!" Um, yes, I fully realized as this was coming out of my mouth that it was a BAD thing to say!!! Booger scolded me and said, "That's not nice Mommy." I admitted my error and said "Yes, you're right. I'm very sorry. That was not nice and Mommy won't have very many friends if she treats people like that." My sweet angel looked at me with a concerned little brow and almost whispers, "I'll be your friend Mommy and I will never ever quit." I was suddenly floored by how lucky I am to share space with this amazing little person! So, anyway, my point is perhaps they need to check kids for kindness, caring and generosity instead of jumping right into "who can beat the benchmark and by how much".

Okay, now back to training. I have a secret. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone but I'm in love with my bike!! Last Saturday I took on my longest ride in the Blue Ridge Mountains! It was AMAZING!!!! 50 miles of wonderful weather, great company and fabulous views! There was a lot of climbing (which I love) but, unfortunately, I was having some shifting issues so I couldn't use my granny gear or the gear closest to that. I ended up having to hard pedal a lot of the hills but I guess I ended up with quite a confidence boost -- I mean, at least I was able to do it and end up with a smile on my face.

On Sunday morning I woke up and went for a run that afternoon. It was hotter than hell and I realized that I need to start acclimating to warm weather training. Sunday evening I went to Som's swim -- which was the first time I'd been in the pool in 3 weeks!!! Since swimming seems to be my most relaxed discipline I tend to slack on that more than anything else. I know that I will have a much better race if I swim more often but it's just so hard to find the time to fit it all in. I guess if something has to give, it should be the area I'm not as worried about, right?

The rest of this week's workouts were difficult for me -- not to complete necessarily but simply to get started on. I don't know about the rest of you but there's one week a month where my energy level plummets and it takes everything I have just to muster the energy to think about working out! This week is that week. Hopefully next week will be better.

This Saturday we have a 28 mile bike and 12 hour run followed by an open water swim on Sunday. I'm very excited to try out my new TriGirl wetsuit!!! Hopefully the water and river will cooperate and the swim won't get cancelled. I'm sure I'll have more to report after a fun-filled TriGirl weekend!!!

2007-04-20T01:26:00.000-05:00

I will have you all know that I represented the TriGirl dedication in style this past week!! Let me paint a picture: 6 adults on vacation in the OBX with our kids. It's a gorgeous day, the pool is heated to 90 degrees, we are in a HUGE house with a tiki bar next to the pool, overlooking the sound. Music is blaring, margaritas are flowing and where is TriGirl CD? That's right, baby, on my bike!! Here's my girlfriend holding the snacks and a margarita while I chill out TriGirl style:

Okay, truth be told, I split my bike ride up into an evening and morning workout. Friday night, I rode for 90 minutes and Saturday morning I ran my 10 miles. Alright, alright, if I'm going to be totally honest, I also celebrated my dedication by getting downright drunk on Saturday night!! But, to continue on my path of honesty, I've got to admit -- it was worth it!! I managed to get all my workouts in and STILL had a nice vacation! I was good when I had to be good and was bad when it was alright to be bad.

We got back on Monday and, of course, that was a horrible day for all of Virginia. I thought I'd write about my thoughts but nothing I could say truly encompassed how I was feeling. So, I guess I can't blog about some things -- I just can't put those feelings into words -- at least not on a computer. At times like these the feelings are so strong that I can only withdraw into my own emotions so I can find some solace where I can search for feelings of hope and peace. I simply pray that others who are more intricately involved in this tragedy will someday be able to find their sense of faith, joy and security again.

Tomorrow I have 10 half mile repeats. Uh, yeah. That sucks. But, still, I will be out at the track tomorrow evening, cursing through every one of them. On Saturday, there is the Blue Ridge ride which I am VERY excited (and nervous) about. Oh, and I guess I need to fit that whole swimming thing in there too!!! Ah, so much training and SO little time. . .

Wetsuit is here!!!

2007-04-10T10:15:00.000-05:00

My super-cool Sockeye has just arrived!! Woohoo! I ripped the box open so that I could immediately try it on. And, let me put it this way, if I paired it with some Catwoman ears and some high heel pumps, Derek would be in heaven!! Granted, he'd never be able to squeeze me back out of thing but he'd at least like the costume. I know that wetsuits are supposed to be tight but I have yet to try one on that is comfortable. No matter what wetsuit you get, trying to squeeze your ass into the thing could really give someone a complex!! Anyway, it's super cute and I'm going to bring it with me to the beach tomorrow so I can try it out (for those who know me, no, I have not suddenly come to my senses and decided to swim in the actual ocean with the innumerable spawn of Jaws -- I'm simply going to go into the shallow little bay area by the beach house -- uh, Deanna L. do sharks linger in the bay, too??????) I will make sure to bring the wetsuit to the next workout if anyone wants to try it out.

Oh, and by the way, despite my "blah-ttitude" I did manage to enjoy my 30 min. bike and 90 minute run last night at West Creek. Thanks for the positive mojo JRo & Melissa!!

Cyndi

Blah.

2007-04-09T14:06:00.000-05:00

My motivation is at an all time low right now. I'm totally unmotivated to jump out of bed and hit my training. I find that I'm asking myself whether I even want to work out. I start to dread it and when I'm doing it, I am not focused. I'm thinking about how long it is until it ends. How does this happen so quickly? Last Saturday I was "I am woman hear my roar" and now its "I am tired put me to bed." This feeling is completely new to me. I'm not exactly sure how to handle it. I think it's simply because I've felt like crap lately. My allergies are out of control and it triggers my asthma. During Saturday's bike I actually got off my bike 3 times so I could go into the bathroom to catch my breath (and cough up a lung)!! Then I stopped to walk for about a minute during the 10 mile run because I was wheezing so badly.

So, yesterday I was looking at my training schedule this week and thought, "Ugh. This is going to suck. How am I going to do this while on vacation at the beach this week? Do I even want to do it?" Then I realized that I needed to change my perception. The question is not "do you want to train". That is not even up for discussion. I'm doing it so I need to just suck it up, change my attitude and get it done. Training is supposed to suck sometimes. It's supposed to hurt at times. Every once in a while your body is supposed to feel like throwing in the towel. But, I suppose, continuing to train through these feelings is what dedication and commitment are all about. I imagine that there will be a time in the Half IM or IM when I feel all of the same emotions times one hundred! Hopefully, having these same feelings during training will help me when I really need it and remind me that I can persevere. Maybe right now I'm mentally training more than anything else. Oh, where has my itty bitty Kenyan gone when I need him the most? Perhaps, I've spilled my chi somewhere. :D

TWO MONTHS TIL EAGLEMAN

2007-04-04T18:08:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it???? There are only two months left until Eagleman -- in other words 9 more Saturdays. Holy crap!!!!! Am I ready? Ahhh! Heart palpitations. I never thought I would look at a 1/2 Ironman as a step in training. I mean, let's not underestimate what we are about to do! It's a FLIPPIN' HALF FREAKIN' IRONMAN!!!! To everyone who is undertaking this feat, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I NEVER would have believed I could do this if it weren't for you amazing, strong women. Seriously, I always hoped and wished I would "one day" do an Ironman. You know how that goes? Like "one day" I will buy a house in Italy, "one day" I will drive a convertible that's not suited for kids, "one day" I'll Spring clean my closets . . . Well, all of the sudden I saw these kick ass women signing up for my "one day" dream and I thought, what the hell is stopping me from doing this? And, I got my answer pure and simple: I was scared. So I decided to pull on my big girl pants (in pink) and join the fantastic women athletes on the playing field. And, now, here I am. On my way. AND, I actually Spring cleaned my closets this week, too!!

Here's my favorite quote: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

Rock on my fellow Tri Girls!

Weekend wrap-up . . .

2007-04-03T10:30:00.000-05:00

Okay, if you read the TG Blogs, you already know that Tri Girls completely kicked ass at the Monument Avenue 10K!!!!! I was amazed by everyone's times!! Mine weren't too shabby either! Here are my stats:

5K Split: 26:51
10K Final Time: 53:57

This was BY FAR the best time I have ever had on a 10K. Here are previous year's Monument Ave. times:

2006- 59:47
2004- 1:04:23
2003- 1:03:33

The one thing that I learned is that I tend to set goals that I know I can achieve. And, I don't push beyond it. Half way through the race I felt great and knew I could pick up the pace. But did I? Nope. 'Cause I was comfortable. I wasn't breathing really hard, legs felt good, why ruin that? Well, cause it's a RACE!! It's the time to put all your training to the test. To really see what you can do. So now I look at my time and I'm still disappointed. Not because the numbers aren't good but because I know that I didn't try as hard as I could have. For once in my life, I would like to come through the finish line knowing that I put out 100%. That is something that definitely needs to be worked on this year.

On Saturday night I had a friend's 40th birthday party to attend and I did a pretty good job balancing the drinking thing! I had a couple glasses of wine and left by 11:30. The next day I still had the energy (and the hydration) to do my 2 and half hour ride. Albeit, I did it on my trainer to the 3hr endurance Spinervals DVD. But, seriously, since the workouts are coached and done specifically for "real" bike riders (as opposed to Spin classes) it was one of the hardest rides I've ever done -- indoors or out!!

Sunday night I skipped swim. Yep, I admit it. I totally played hooky. Couldn't help it. I spent all of Friday night at the first night of a work retreat, Saturday was the 10k and then straight to the second day of my work retreat. I came home for exactly an hour so that I could change and get ready to go to the 40th b'day party. Sunday I woke up and spent 3 hours on my bike. All this is great except that my two littlest ones kept asking me if they could spend some time with me because they missed me. So, it was an easy decision to skip the swim so I could spend some time with the kids.

Today I have a 1.5 hour bike ride and 1 hr. run ahead of me. It's a gorgeous day so I'm looking forward to it. I'll let you all know how it goes!

Funny Triathlon Stuff . . .

2007-03-28T00:50:00.000-05:00

I've got nothing interesting to say. Well, I did do an hour indoor Spinervals training session yesterday in my new Ironman room. Since I took my trainer home from Maramarc I was finally able to turn my dining room into the Tri Training room that I wanted (because, really, who needs a dining room? I'm working so hard lately that I'm eating right out of the fridge anyway!). My bike is set up on the trainer facing a big picture window and I have a few Spinervals DVD's that are geared toward Ironman distance races.

I put on the DVD, crank my mp3 and it's a pretty good workout. It's still not as fun as an outdoor ride or a ride with the gang at Maramarc but it gets the job done. I also have my treadmill in there and some weights and bands. Sometime this week the motivational Ironman posters that I ordered will be here and will be displayed somewhere in the room to give me the extra push I need during workouts. I know it sounds crazy to turn your dining room into a training room -- particularly since we have a spare room on the third floor! But, having it right here, in the center of the home, will remind me that I made a commitment to put myself first this year. Which, by the way, is A LOT harder than I anticipated. But that's a story for a whole different blog.

Today I also got in my 4 mile Tempo run thanks to the great company of TG Lynn and TH (TriHubby) Derek. Seriously, you should ask Lynn to show you her Chi run. It's quite inspiring! :D

Okay, so anyway, I really wasn't going to post anything today but someone sent me this e-mail and it was truly scary how many of these things are true!!

TRANSLATION OF A TRIATHLETE'S VOCABULARY:

"I am an outdoors type of person." Really means: I train in any type of weather. If its raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100% humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a big wuss for complaining about it.

"I enjoy riding my bike." Really means: with or w/o aero bars, alone or in a peleton, I don't care. If you can't do a spur of the moment 30 miler then you're not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can't hang and I drop you - I will see you later.

"I enjoy jogging." Really means: Lets run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the same.

"I enjoy dining out." Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring something to the party like more food. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, Dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.

"I enjoy quiet walks on the beach." Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way youre going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don't want to find out.

"I find fulfillment in charitable work." Really means: If I am not racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sports drink to cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol' arm out there and hope it doesn't get taken off.

"I enjoy sharing quiet moments together." Really means: It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't workout.

"I enjoy site seeing." Really means: Lets grab a bike and get our HR's up to 90%. There's plenty of time to look around on the descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.

"I like stimulating conversation. " Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food.

"I am an active person." Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so lets make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed massage therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.

And, my personal favorite:

"I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives." Really means: You have your choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and New York, but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.

2007-03-25T23:33:00.000-05:00

I survived the dreaded sprints. Yes, I knew I would yet it still seems like I've battled some monster in doing so!! I want to go around for the rest of the day telling people, "You know, I look like the average girl but do you know that I did a timed mile and 6 flippin' sprints today??? Followed by a 2 hour bike ride. Yeah, I kinda kick ass like that." Good God! Imagine what I'll be like after Ironman. I'm telling you right now. The tattoo is going on my forehead. With arrows pointing to it. And, maybe some blinking lights.

So, anyway, back to reality. Sprints suck BUT PR's are damn FANTASTIC!

Times:

1 mile timed: 7:32 (fastest ever! I know, I'm like a Kenyan, huh? Okay, maybe a Kenyan baby, but a Kenyan nonetheless!)
1/2 mile 1 - 3:38
1/2 mile 2 - no time
1/2 mile 3 - 3:45
1/2 mile 4 - 3:48
1/2 mile 5 - 3:53
1/2 mile 6 - 3:58

I was very happy to keep the rest of my 1/2 mile sprints under 4 minutes. That's quite an accomplishment for me. Particularly since my Thursday run was the worst ever. I actually had to stop by a friend's house during my run to beg some water and a banana! She was shocked and asked how far I'd been running. She expected me to say some really cool Ironman-like training distance like 9 miles or something. She almost fell over when I told her 1.67 miles!! HAHAHA!! That's pathetic! Oh well, there are good days and there are bad days. Or, as Booger likes to tell me, "Sometimes you're the pin and sometimes you're the ball". Clearly, that day I was the ball.

The only other workout I did this weekend was a swim tonight. I actually sort of got the rhythm of the butterfly. It's still not pretty but at least it doesn't make the lifeguards go on alert. The rest of the swim was uneventful. I swam hard but didn't have the energy that I needed to really put forth 100 percent. I really need to focus on swimming during the week. That is the one part of training that I tend to skip the most. Also, I have REALLY got to get back into strength training. So, that's my goal for this week. Incorporate swimming and make sure to strength train. We'll see how that goes. . . .

Counting down . . . .

2007-03-22T12:42:00.000-05:00

the official countdown to the dreaded sprints has begun. (By the way, I'm completely addicted to this Blingy Blob thing that Trimom turned me on to! Soon you guys will witness the countdown til lunch, til the kids come home from school, til I brush my teeth, etc.) Anyway, this is the way it works for the next couple days until sprints: I will think endlessly about how much they suck. I will run conservatively today in anticipation of the energy sucking sprints. I will then eat my face off all day tomorrow to 1) pretend that I need to load up on energy and 2) force myself into a guilt ridden stupor so that I feel I HAVE to do the sprints just to make up for the crap I ate. When I have finished the final sprint on Saturday, I will think, "hey, that really wasn't so bad" and vow not to get so worked up about sprints the next time. And, then the entire cycle will repeat itself again about 2 days before the next Saturday sprint workout. Yes, I am driving this crazy train and, apparently, I'm (unconsciously) enjoying the ride!

On a completely different note, do you ever wish you could be on whatever drug it is that kids seem be be born with? My 5 year old (I call her Booger -- you don't want to know why -- let's just say she enjoys the fact that she carries salty little "snacks" in her nose) anyway, right now Booger is running around the family room, wearing just a pair of pink panties, laughing as she's spinning around making herself dizzy. Soon, she'll collapse on the floor and let the dog, Cali, tickle her with doggy kisses. Can you imagine feeling that free? Maybe I'll have to try that one day (minus the doggy kisses). Oh, wait, I forgot, I'm trying to balance the whole training/drinking thing! You all better watch out the day after Ironman, though!

Regret.

2007-03-19T10:45:00.000-05:00

So, on Saturday I ran 13.14 miles at West Creek -- which, for any of you who are not familiar with West Creek, is pretty damn hilly. I felt great until Mile 11 and then miles 11-13.14 felt pretty brutal. But, I was really proud of myself when I was finished. The .04 made it my longest run ever so I hit my own little PR. Now, herein lies the problem: the post-run celebration. That evening Derek and I had a poker party to go and that usually means a late night, lots of drinking and a smoky room. But I'm a soon-to-be Ironman now so I figured I would have a drink or two, play a few hands and go home early to rest my weary legs. Did that happen? No. The reality was that I had WAY too many drinks, was there until 3 am and smoked!(which I only do when I've had WAY too many drinks!) So, yesterday, I felt like I was run over by a truck. I think I was caught up in the excitement -- you see we have a pretty serious poker group in our neighborhood and we were playing tournament style with about 50 people -- primarily men. And, in true Tri-Girl style, I ended winning the entire tournament against all these guys (who think girls can't play poker) and taking home a nice cash purse of $180. So, really, I've now got 2/3 of my wetsuit paid for thanks to my night of drinking!! The only problem is the guilt I carry around for letting out the steam the way I did. Particularly the smoking. UGH! I don't even like the smell so it boggles my mind that I revert to my old 20 year old party ways when I have one too many. You'd think that I would know better by now. And, what makes it worse is that my disappointment in myself totally overshadows by PR run. Bummer. I know that summer parties and get togethers are going to tempt me into throwing caution to the wind. I will just have to remember my ultimate goal this year and try to do a much better job balancing the socializing and the training. Oh, well, at least I get my wetsuit out of my weekend of regret.

What the hell is the deal with sprints?

2007-03-17T00:49:00.000-05:00

Why do I dread sprints for days beforehand? I count down the seconds until I actually have to commit to doing them (the commitment actually occurs about 2 seconds before I actually start the first sprint). Yesterday's sprints killed me. I got through them -- barely. It was just a bad running day. My goal this year really is to learn to love running. Or at least be on speaking terms with it. I think I don't like it because speed completely eludes me. I read in the back of the Total Immersion book (thank you, Tri Girl Kate T!) that there is a running book called Chi Running by Danny Dryer that is supposed to tweak my running in the same way that TI did my swimming. But, the thing is, swimming came too easily for me. I never had to work like I do when I run. I was not on a swim team growing up. I mean, I played in the pool -- but it was more like diving for rings and pretending I was a mermaid. Four years ago was the first time I used the pool for anything but to cool off if I'd been in the sun too long. After 3 workouts I was keeping up with the faster girls and by the end of the season I could hold my own with the fastest in our group. So, really, the fact I could swim really shocked the heck out of me. The same thing sort of happened with biking. I rode a bike as a kid but until 4 years ago, stationary biking was all I did. I wish that running would just drop into my lap like that.

I remember after my very first run, I called my husband at work and told him to stay on the phone with me because I was sure I was going to pass out and he was going to have to call 911 -- and I had only run about 3/4 of a mile! At that particular moment I really regretted all those days I skipped running track in school because I always told them I had cramps! And now I'm running 13 miles tomorrow. Wow! Isn't it amazing when you think about how far you've come?

Someone said something to me the other day that really blew me away. They called me a "natural athlete"! It's hard for me to consider myself an athlete, much less a "natural" one!! Isn't it funny how people perceive you? I was NEVER even remotely close to an athlete growing up. Actually, I was a very overweight couch potato until I was 17. My sister was always the little, athletic one. I was considered the chubby smart girl. It's not that I was picked last in teams -- it's that I didn't play at all. I was sort of paralyzed by my weight. In my late-teens/early 20's I lost the weight but I was left with a pretty brutal eating disorder which I had to learn to overcome and manage through the years. Until triathlons I always worked out to lose weight -- now, I still battle my demons, but when I'm training I FEEL like an athlete and my focus is on being stronger and healthier -- not smaller. How GREAT is that?! It's really helped me show my girls that healthy means doing great things for your body. If you treat your body right, it will be whatever size and shape it is supposed to be and that in itself will be beautiful!

Okay, enough self-reflection for today. I've got to get to bed so that I can try to take on those West Creek hills on my run tomorrow! AAH!

What a BEAUTIFUL day!!!!

2007-03-13T21:17:00.000-05:00

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” Ashley Smith

Today was a lucky day. Don't get me wrong -- my run time was not good, I forgot my Garmin so I was 4/10ths of a mile short on my run and I was suffering from some serious allergies. But, it was in the 70's. I got to ride and run outside. AND I got to do it with my best friend and supporter -- Derek. There was one point on the run when the sun was just beginning to go down that I looked up at the sky, felt my legs underneath me and thought, "How lucky am I?" I have no idea what I did to get so blessed but I will try not to ever take for granted the amazing life that I have.

So many days of tri training are about how to fit it in, how long, how fast, how much better did I do, where was I lacking, what can I do better. Sometimes it's easy to wonder why you are doing it. Why you just can't accept life in it's non-self-challenging form. But then there are some days that you go out and your spirit literally answers for you: because you are blessed with the strength, determination and perserverance that many have learned to live without. And, I suppose, this is why I tri.

Many times when I'm training -- particularly when I'm running -- I get caught up thinking "This sucks." "I hate running." or, "Dear God how much more." When that happens, I go through my mental checklist of thanks (thank you that I have legs to feel this pain, thank you that I am slow enough to appreciate all that I am passing by, thank you that I have someone to run to instead of run from) Today, I also remembered a quote that says something like "The ultimate goal is being able to do your best and enjoy it." Today was that day.

Catch up . .

2007-03-11T20:33:00.000-05:00

I've found that catching up after a short hiatus is becoming increasingly harder. Maybe it's just my age beginning to peep through.

Last week I was in Oklahoma for my sister's wedding and tried very hard to keep up with my workouts. I managed to hit one cycle class and get in a grueling 10 miler around a local lake. The run was SO hard that the day of my run I almost decided to throw myself in front of oncoming cars or drown myself in the lake I was running around!! It wasn't the distance that bothered me -- it was running into a 35 mph headwind that killed me! When I woke that morning, my sister told me that they had severe wind warnings and asked if it was okay to run in that kind of weather. I replied, "Of course. I mean, I'm a bad ass tri-girl. I can take it." Uh, no. No, I can't.

I spent the first 3 miles running into the headwind. It was killing me but I figured where there's a headwind, there's got to be a tailwind somwhere. And, as luck would have it, I spotted a water fountain. Yay. If there is one water fountain, there's bound to be others so now I could throw away the cumbersome water bottle that I was carrying. This wasn't going to be so bad after all. I made a turn onto the top of the dam and smacked right into winds that can really only be described as tornadic -- they seemed to change direction constantly and whipped me all over the place. I then made another turn expecting to catch a tail wind -- but lo, and behold, I was only blessed with a crosswind. Luckily, I spotted another much needed water fountain. Hmmm. That's funny. I push the little button and no water comes out -- must be broken. That's okay, I can make it to the next one. At mile 6, I see another. Dammit. Broken too. At mile 6 1/2, I make a wrong turn and reach a deadend. Dammit again. I backtrack. At mile 7, I see another water fountain. Hallelujah. I was starting to wipe white salt from my face so I knew I was getting dehydrated. But, that water fountain was also not working. By now, I'm cursing the entire state of Oklahoma. I made it to the final turn back to the starting point -- and again into the 35 mph headwind. I finally reached the car AND water. When I got back to my sister's she informed me that they usually turn the water off in the winter months because of the ice in the pipes. Guess I should have asked about that. I have to say it was by far THE WORST run of my life!! But, I did it!!!! So, I feel stronger and ready for anything! There's always a positive, I guess!

Upon returning to Richmond, I was busy catching up with "life" since I'd been away, fighting some nasty allergies and some stomach bug thing. I was out of commission for a couple days but was ready for action by the time we hit our sprints on Saturday. Well, at least I thought I was. The first sprint was a pretty nice 3:39. Followed by a 3:48. Then a 3:52 -- but I was dead beat by then. The third sprint I paced with TriGirl DB and felt much better at a 4:07. Number five was 3:58. Okay, I was going to leave it all there on number 6. I felt like I was flying. I was sure that Kenyans couldn't catch me and my bad-ass stride. I really felt that I was going to have some sort of kick ass PR in that final sprint. Woo hoo! Last hill toward the finish point and I look down at my Garmin. Woah. 4:09. But, hey, wait a minute -- I thought I was flying! It reminded me of when our son tried roller hockey. He was about 8 and was out on the rink with kids ranging from from 4 years old to 12 years old. We watched him shuffle around the rink while 4 and 5 year olds whipped past him. We figured he would get off the rink feeling defeated. But, when he finally scootched around to us, he said "Mommy, did you see how FAST I was going!!!!" I replied, "Yeah, baby, you were so fast you were like a blur!!!" Oh, well, my flying time of 4:09 gave me a really good laugh at the very least! We then biked for a boring 2 hours that was only made bearable by the company of Tri Girl Lynn and Suzy Q. Thank God for Tri Girls!

Tonight I went to Som's six o'clock swim where I heard that some fast girls had been last week. Rumor has it that they were kicking some serious swimming booty. And, it was no lie!!! New Tri Girl Courtney kicked my butt!!!! And, I loved every minute of it! Totally inspired me to try harder. She was extremely fast and also super nice. I think if I have to try to keep up with these girls I am sure to be swimming like a champ by the end of the season!

Now, I'm off to bed with my final glass of wine. I'm hoping to adhere to all of my workouts this week!! And try to figure out what the heck I'm going to do to replace the 1/2 marathon that the rest of the TriGals are doing next Saturday. Wish I would have signed up but now it's too late. Oh well. Next time.

be

Dummy . . .

2007-03-11T20:30:00.000-05:00

This is so dumb! I started a blog and COMPLETELY forgot my username and password and have yet to figure out how to recover it!! This must be why Tri Girl Devil Face suggested I start a blog and wait to announce it after I've seen whether I want to keep writing on it. Can't really write on it if I can't get to it, huh? So, here I am starting a new one.

Here's the cut and paste of my first blog post!

I know I have much to talk about but putting it down on paper is much more difficult than I thought!! Who would have thought I could be at a loss for words????Well, I guess I should start from the beginning for those of you who don't know what my training regimen has been. I'm training with TriGirls and am LOVING every minute of it!!! Well, I actually hate the Saturday early a.m. sprint workouts but at least I'm loving those around me. I'm discovering that I actually do have the power to wake up before the sun actually rises. Basically I've got two half Ironman races this year and then the big one in November. Right now, our training is focusing on preparation for the June Eagleman Half Iron in Maryland.I took a day off from training today -- not by choice, simply by circumstance. I'm getting ready to go to Oklahoma on Wednesday and I've been busy getting stuff packed and mapping out the area so I can fit in my 8-10 mile run that I'm supposed to do. Tomorrow I will do a 4 mile run and an hour ride and then I'll be off again until Thursday. UGH! I hate forced non-workout days! I've found a gym in OK that will give me a one week membership for $25 so I can swim and cycle. I've also found a 10 mile loop around a lake that supposed to be a hot spot for runners in the area. I'm actually really looking forward to that. In the meantime, I'm simply stressing over what kind of wetsuit to purchase, where I'm going to stay for Eagleman and how the heck I'm going to get in a proper schedule while in Oklahoma. Really, my thoughts should be on what is in my suitcase or whether I've packed underwear for the girls -- but my mind is once again on triathlon. Selfish little hobby this is. Good thing I've got a good man standing by me who understands!! I got a personalized license plate today! It ways IM4TRI. That was basically all they had left -- except LUVTRI but I worried that some wacko would think that I was trying to say I loved threesomes or something :D Well, maybe that's pretty good for my first post. Perhaps I'll get the hang of this the more I write. Or, perhaps this will be the last you hear from me. We'll just have to see I guess.