Sometimes, I have to admit, this adventure seems like I'm caught in this whirlwind. I'm just twisting and turning, going along for the ride with my eyes squeezed tightly shut. Before I even have time to process each step I'm taking toward IMFL, I'm taking another giant leap. So why do I still feel like I'm going to come up short???
For example, last weekend my 30 mile ride/15 mile run was the longest I've gone thus far. The almost 90 miles in 110 degree weather while getting "special" 1-on-1 attention from Coach B the week before was the farthest (and hardest!) ride I've ever done. And now, here I am, staring another 1/2 Ironman in the face and I'm thinking "Whatever. It's just another training day." WHAT?!?! That is proof that I've gone mental. IT. IS. A. HALF. FLIPPIN' IRONMAN!! But that's my point. I'm just here for the ride. I go when they say go and I stop when they say stop. It feels almost overwhelming sometimes.
Don't get me wrong. I love this adventure. But, some days, when I'm thinking "am I really doing enough", "will I be ready?", or the worst "what if I can't finish", I think of my former life with lazy Saturdays, no Ironman worries or self doubt and I find myself clicking my heels and saying "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home . . ."
But, here I am. Still on this ride. And while I love so many parts of it, I feel the need to finally make it down that IM finisher's chute so that I can take a moment -- a minute to breathe and simply think and not "do".
Luckily, one thing this IM training has taught me, is that there are times that you will be in pain, that you will feel like sitting down and giving up, but those times will pass and you will get your second wind. All you need to do is hang in there and believe in yourself.
Let's hope that happens before Saturday's Half-IM.
4 comments:
Speedster-
I have no doubt that you'll have an awesome race on Saturday. And- you are soooo not alone with the worries/doubts that go along with all this craziness.
sq
You, ms speed demon, will do great on Saturday. When I grow up, I want to race as fast and strong as you. Granted, that would mean I'd have to show up to more workouts....see you on race day!
There is a phrase I've read on other IM blogs about training and preparation meeting opportunity... you are following the training, you are physically and mentally prepared, and your IronMan opportunity will be a beautiful thing. Good luck and have fun in your "training" half!
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