Monday, April 9, 2007

Blah.


My motivation is at an all time low right now. I'm totally unmotivated to jump out of bed and hit my training. I find that I'm asking myself whether I even want to work out. I start to dread it and when I'm doing it, I am not focused. I'm thinking about how long it is until it ends. How does this happen so quickly? Last Saturday I was "I am woman hear my roar" and now its "I am tired put me to bed." This feeling is completely new to me. I'm not exactly sure how to handle it. I think it's simply because I've felt like crap lately. My allergies are out of control and it triggers my asthma. During Saturday's bike I actually got off my bike 3 times so I could go into the bathroom to catch my breath (and cough up a lung)!! Then I stopped to walk for about a minute during the 10 mile run because I was wheezing so badly.

So, yesterday I was looking at my training schedule this week and thought, "Ugh. This is going to suck. How am I going to do this while on vacation at the beach this week? Do I even want to do it?" Then I realized that I needed to change my perception. The question is not "do you want to train". That is not even up for discussion. I'm doing it so I need to just suck it up, change my attitude and get it done. Training is supposed to suck sometimes. It's supposed to hurt at times. Every once in a while your body is supposed to feel like throwing in the towel. But, I suppose, continuing to train through these feelings is what dedication and commitment are all about. I imagine that there will be a time in the Half IM or IM when I feel all of the same emotions times one hundred! Hopefully, having these same feelings during training will help me when I really need it and remind me that I can persevere. Maybe right now I'm mentally training more than anything else. Oh, where has my itty bitty Kenyan gone when I need him the most? Perhaps, I've spilled my chi somewhere. :D

2 comments:

Ro said...

Here's a quote for you girl...nothing in life was ever worth it unless it took hard work to get there". Don't give up! At least you get to train and then relax with your family afterwards. It beats training then going to to work :-)

P.S. LOVE, love, LOVE that cat picture. It made me laugh!

Melissa said...

haivng hit goal one of the du and having the tri seem so far away, I skipped swimming last night out of feeling lazy. i understand where you se comign from. we have to rmember that fabulous feeling we get after a work out...and ultimately think f the feeling at that finish line and how good it will feel to know you made it there by overcoming the temptation of being lazy. you have come so far - you cna't stop now! you have me puching you now, sister! so there!