Bye-bye Pink Lake . . .

I had another doctor's appointment today to discuss my full recovery plan. Long story but White Lake is out. He really feels that it's just not enough time to heal well enough to run that distance. He did make me one guarantee: if I did run White Lake I would most definitely come home in some serious pain and, quite possibly, with the kind of stress fracture that would require pins or crutches in order to immobilize the hip. He actually said he didn't think I should walk it -- primarily because he thinks I would end up deciding to run (God, am I that transparent?!?). I finally conceeded and said I would do whatever I needed to do to make sure I could race at 100% at Timberman. So the plan now is 4 weeks of swimming (no pushing off the walls) and cycling. I will then let my body do what my body can do and heal in the amount of time it takes to heal so that I can race strong in New Hampshire.

I need to say this outloud: I am SOOOOOO bummed. Many, many tears have been shed(and, really, I don't cry). I'm hoping Set Up will agree to let me pull someone in as a runner and I can turn my entry into a relay but I'm still waiting to hear from them. Otherwise, I will still go to White Lake. I will swim and bike my ass off and then miserably sulk up to an official and grudgingly turn in my chip -- as a DNF. O-u-c-h. I have never quit anything in my life. This is going to hurt.

I'm going to have a glass of wine and allow myself to just sit and pout tonight. Tomorrow I will realize that I'm a damn lucky lady who should be counting the millions of blessings I have instead of magnifying one disappointing hiccup in in my life. But, again, tonight I allow myself to wallow. :(